The Thorim Saga: The Reckoning (6)

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Сообщение от 438948

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Сообщение от Skreeran

Wall of text crits eyes for-

*dies*

Сообщение от 438948

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Сообщение от Morec0

One: Please break it up into smaller paragraphs.

Two: Nice, interesting to use something like this as a story, don't think its been done yet on this Forum (please correct me if I'm wrong)

My guess is that you'll be cullimating this either with Loki capturing Thorim or take it all the way to entering Ulduar. I'm hoping is the second.

EDIT: There's no problem with the length of the writing, there's just a problem that there are no spaces between the paragraphs. Space them out by one, at least, like I do with Light and Death and they'll become much, much more legible.
EDIT2: Just a suggestion. It's your story, after all.

Сообщение от 438948

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Сообщение от Morec0

Much more readable, and now that I can finally read it I fully congradulate you.

Looking forward to the next installment.

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Сообщение от Eledhwen

Well done! It's not too long at all and since you've broken it up into paragraphs it's very readable. You've brought life to an interesting questline!

I'm doing this quest now with my Dwarf Hunter (have done it with my Paladin). Unfortunately I only got as far as the Halls of Lightning and doubt I'll ever see Ulduar and would love to see how this all pans out. I've hoped that Thorim would be brought back in the end.

So let us know how it turns out.

Сообщение от Morec0

I noticed at least one mistake, but who am I to talk? Well done as usual, may I suggest, though, that you rename the title of this every time you add a new chapter, if your going to continue to post them all on this same page. Had I not decided to check out the most recent comments I never would have known that you had added chapter three.

EDIT: Once again, just a suggestion.

Сообщение от 438948

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Сообщение от Morec0

Well written, once more, can't wait to see the rest.

And I've heard that Lovecraft is pretty good, I've actually been meaning to read some but I've not been able to get to a library lately.

Oh, can I make a request all well. Whenever you get to attacking Ulduar, feel free to use Nilon (read Light and Death if you don't know what I'm talking about) as a member of the raid group.

Сообщение от 349503

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Сообщение от 438948

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Сообщение от Morec0

Nice. Looking forward to how you describe the showdown between the two.

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Сообщение от Patty

Nice. I liked the fight description most, as you really exaggerated Loken's arrogance.

Сообщение от Morec0

Agreeing with Patty here, amazingly well writen. Can't wait to see how you fare against Loken and the other things at his disposal.

Hey, thought of something for when you and whatever group go to face off against Loken. For every spell the character casts have a link to that certain spell.

That dosn't serve any real porpose, though.