- Azsuna: Boscoe and Rungle's Sky Chariot - billed as the swankiest balloon in Azeroth.
Hop aboard, junior ballooners! anybody want a balloon sticker? Here ya go.
We run the swankiest balloon in all of Azeroth! Ask anybody, they'll tell ya it's true!
How's about some free drinks? Here ya go!
Today, we're flying over Azsuna, the jewel of the Broken Isles.
Anyone for caviar? We got only the best!
That's the Nar'thalas Academy down there. I school for mages back in ancient times, I hear.
Hot towel? Only the best for our customers!
Rungle, why don't ya heat up the barbecue, then get the fireworks ready.
Sure thing, boss.
Ya might be wondering how I can run such a classy balloon outfit and still turn a profit. Well, lemme tell ya.
The trick is, ya don't reveal the price to the customer 'til they're up in the balloon with ya!
That'll be 28.542 gold each--gratuity NOT included. Unless of course, you'd like Rungle here to break your legs.
Okay boss, I put the fireworks on the barbecue, like you said.
You did WHAT? Rungle, you bungled it again!!!!!!
<The balloon explodes>
- Highmountain: The Killem'jaro. Nesingwary is your tour guide and he's a bit sad.
Welcome, friends, to the Nesingwary balloon tour o'Highmountain!
Bought this balloon from a wee goblin. Claimed it'd make a good perch for shootin' moose!
Lately though...eh, I dunno. Been feelin' a bit down. Huntin' don't bring the same joy it once did.
Not even shootin' critters from a hot air balloon can cheer me up.
Now I'll melancholy.
Anybody know any good jokes? Here, I'll start...
Why do dwarf hunters use guns?
Because you can't drink ale from the barrel of a bow!
Heh, it's okay for me to tell that one because I'm a dwarf. And a hunter!
X, you got any?
How 'bout you, Y?
Or even you Z. Someone cheer me up!
Heh, that brightened me spirit. Thanks fer keepin' an ol' hunter company!
- Stormheim: Emi-Lan's Skylounge - Your tour guide is not very experienced and just plays games on the ride.
Welcome aboard! Today I will be your guide on a tour of Stormheim.
See all that stuff down there? That's...uh...that's Stormheim.
Sorry, I'm not a very experienced tour guide.
So, any of you know some balloon party games?
Ooh Ooh I've got one! It's called Kiss, Mary, Slay.
You just have to pick one person you would kiss, one you would marry, and one you would slay.
I'll go first! Let's see...
X, you've got a nice face, and it looks like you're the only one here who brushes her teeth, I would kiss you.
Hmm...I would slay Y. For obvious reasons.
And that leaves Z to marry! I could live with that.
Okay, my turn's over. Somebody else go next!
Alright, the balloon ride is over! That was FUN!
- Suramar: Cloudwalker Express delivers an educational lesson about Suramar and the Nightborne:
Greets! Please step into the basket...and prepare for the most educational balloon ride of your life.
Today we will be taking a scenic balloon tour over the ancient city of Suramar.
But first, I will be taking attendance.
Quite the talkative bunch, now on with the tour!
Suramar, as we all know, is home to the Nightborne elves.
Among other things, the Nightborne are known for being rather disagreeable.
X, can you tell me what mind-altering substance the Nightborne use to relax?
The substance they consume is, of course, mana.
Consuming so much mana has had an effect on the Nightborne's bodies.
X, what specific feature of Nightborne anatomy has been "enhanced" by excessive mana use?
Very close! The answer I was looking for was "their skin".
Final question, for X. What is the traditional greeting used in Suramar City?
Good guess! The correct answer is: "An illusion! What are you hiding?"
That's all for today. Thank you for flying...and study up for next time.
- Uldum: Schnottz' Hot Air Balloon. Schnottz is a pretty grumpy host; you elect to toss him out of the balloon.
Please be turnink your attenzhion to me.
Ve run a tight balloon here!
Zhere vill be no talkink, no jumpink, no basket-jostlink.
Zhese are zhe rules. Obey zhem, or be dealt vizh.
Ve vill all have a very nice balloon ride, and ve are going to enjoy it. Is zhat clear?
Very goot. Now ve sit in silence for zhe next hour.
>Players receive the Schnottz Has To Go extra action button and can elect to kick Schnottz from the balloon.
I DESERVED ZHIIISSS
- Valley of the Four Winds: Cloudwalker Express; this tour guide really hates balloons.
MORE balloon riders? Fine, come on in... I guess.
This is the balloon ride to Halfhill. Please keep your hands and off-hands inside the basket at all times.
Below us, to the right, you will see Pang's Stead. Be sure to keep an eye out for...
You know what? That's it. I've HAD it!
I have a confession I'd like to make to the three of you.
I HATE balloons. Hated them all my life. All I ever wanted to do was be a shaman, but no! Apparently "ballooning is in our blood".
Is this good enough for you, father? Huh? ARE YOU PROUD OF ME NOW, DAD?!?!
Feels good to get that off my chest. I've never told that to anyone before.
Now you know my secret. What about you?
Give it a try. Tell us something you've never told another soul before. Go ahead.
How about you? Do you have any secrets burning a hole in your heart?
I haven't forgotten about you. Tell us a secret. We won't judge. This is a safe balloon
That was the most cathartic balloon ride I've ever had. It was even sort of fun. Thanks, all of you!
- Crystalsong Forest: Chen's Balloon. Chen Stormstout is your tour guide in spite of not being present for Wrath of the Lich King.
Welcome aboard. Please sit back and enjoy the ride.
Below, you will see Crystalsong Forest.
I'm sad to say that despite all my travels, I never spent much time here. I couldn't tell you why.
Ahhh... but I do have fond memories of my time here in Northrend.
Just over that ridge lies Sholazar Basin. There I met tribes of wolvar and murloc oracles. Such strange creatures!
After all the journeys I've been on, I still remember that day the most clearly.
Please, pardon me for blathering on. No doubt the tales of your own adventures are much more exciting!
What about you? To what exotic lands have you traveled?
Or you? What tales of exploration do you hold dear?
I'll let the three of you talk amongst yourselves. I need to make sure I don't crash this baloon into Dalaran.
- Nagrand (Draenor): Nagrand Sky Tours - A balloon ride in Draenor goes horribly wrong and takes you to Outland!
Boy, are you guys in luck! This ain't gonna be your standard, sleepy, ultra-slow baloon ride.
I don't think we're in Nagrand anymore.
We're in Nagrand? We're in Nagrand!
I don't believe it! We traveled back in time!
Or is it forward in time? I never know. Either way, this is horrifying! I wanna go back!
There's no time like home, there's no time like home, there's no time like home...