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The Last Memory : Stratholme-Mjala the Grand Priestess of Shandalar
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Publication par
174302
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Publication par
Morec0
Wall of text hits Morec for over 9000.
Publication par
Adamsm
Yeah, this is really hard to read.
Publication par
Dralas
Paragraphs are your friend, no offense.
Publication par
HiVolt
You gotta remember when doing c'n'p, which I assume is what you did here, that Wowhead doesn't do indents.
On the story itself though, not bad. It was hard to read for lack of paragraphs, but I managed to overcome that. A few grammatical errors, but all in all, it's a pretty decent story.
You should edit the post and put the paragraphs in where they're meant to be. You should also do a spell check. Generally when writing a fiction of any sort, "u" doesn't count as "you" if the fiction is meant to be serious. No offense intended, only trying to help.
Publication par
386345
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Publication par
174302
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Publication par
HiVolt
A thousand times better, much easier to read.
Publication par
Adamsm
Wait, if the first part is suppose to be the War between the Blacks and the Blues in crystalsong, is your character really a dragon? Cause the Crystalsong Forest battle took place shortly before the Sundering, and was only between the two flights, no mortals actually saw it, they were too busy with other things.
Publication par
174302
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Publication par
Adamsm
No, I get the old age part, I'm just saying, the Crystalsong War, which took place between the Blue and Black flight after the use of the Demon Soul, took place at the same time as the War of the Ancients. Only the dragon's fought there, because the few remaining blues wanted revenge for what Deathwing did to their people.
Publication par
174302
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
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