Short Story --- No Title. (9/2/09)

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Publication par 184848

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Publication par 184848

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Publication par Queggy

I <3 it.

Publication par Septimus

MOAR NAO.

It is a beautifully crafted piece of writing.

Publication par Morec0

O.O

Amazing. Short and to the point, but packing as much character and plot as my own story.

Noticed one thing though, in the second paragraph you wrote

What if she could see him now?

Is 'she' intentional? Or was it supposed to be 'he,' reffering to the character father.

Publication par Skreeran

Ho... Ly... Crap...

That was awesome, man. Nice and tragic, but in an incredible brutal and unfeeling way. Not to mention death by fire is nice and poignant, as well as being one of the most painful ways to die. Jeez, goosebumps...

/applaud

Publication par 184848

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Publication par HiVolt

Wow... This is a wonderful piece. By far, one of the most intriguing works I've seen. I truly hope you continue to post stories, even if they aren't like this one.

Publication par Adamsm

Nicely done as always man.

Publication par Gnub

Good stuff, liked the bitterness in it, even though it seemed bordering to emo at first when I read it. The whole thing about actually not knowing what race - hell, anything - about the storyteller, is actually a nice touch too. A story this short shouldn't "waste time" on such details anyway.

Would've been awesome if the last line would've been the only spoken line, filled to the brim with the bitterness to make a faster end to the life, or something.

Good work! :D

Publication par Morec0

This story really reminded me of the macinima(spelling) Blind, in the sense that, while there is obviously some kind of plot, the details are so vauge that your mind has to go out on a limb and create a plot for it.

A very well done bit of work, hopefully you'll keep it up.

Publication par 184848

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Publication par Gnub

Would've been awesome if the last line would've been the only spoken line, filled to the brim with the bitterness to make a faster end to the life, or something.

That's actually a pretty interesting change, I like that. But I won't do it to the entire last line.
Glad you liked the suggestion :)

Publication par 386345

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Publication par 184848

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Publication par 386345

This post was from a user who has deleted their account.