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Why Draenei Are Better Than You
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Post by
Queggy
I've recently been reading lots of lore and stuff concerning the Draenei, and I came to realize that I love these blueberry squid-goats! So I decided to make an extremely
poorly written and ripped off Draenei version of
Why Trolls Are Better Than You
awesome and semi-related to
Why Trolls Are Better Than You
Draenei thread.
Why Draenei Are Better Than You:
It is obvious to most Xenobiologists that Draenei are simply the best race in all the cosmos. Those that harbour ill-will towards our fine, blue friends are quick to point out the tails, hooves, horns, and tentacles. Even their zealous and loyal worship of the Light is called into question. These people are newbs. I will explain.
Posture:
Draenei by their very nature are humble and chaste. Yet their skeletal structure forces them to assume sexy and awesome poses that make other races cry with jealousy. Any human female that sees a Draenei female instantly tries to gouge out her eyes. She knows that no matter how hard she tries to work out, she will never attain that natural, sexy, and curvaceous butt that is natural and prevalent among female Draenei. The same applies to male Draenei, albeit, in a different way. Male Draenei are the perfect body-builders. Their bulging biceps, triceps, and pecs make any Human male take a sword to their body in an attempt to chisel out such manly-man muscles. The Draenei don't wish for this to happen, but they cannot help it. Their skeleton structure makes them do it.
Hooves and Horns:
Obviously Draenei could pray to the Light to remove their horns and give them feet, but they don't. Hooves and horns are the pinnacle of biological evolution. The hooves allow them to run around without shoes, and as we all know, shoes are uncomfortable and not very environmentally friendly. You see? The Draenei care about the environment! That's why they have hooves! And about the horns; it's like a free weapon! Just lower your head, charge, and impale! It's as simple as that!
Mounts:
The Elekk is like the
Mûmakil
of WoW, and it is no mistake that Draenei ride them. Dwarves have semi-cool mounts. You know, if you like VW Buses.
Playable Classes:
Draenei can be any class.
It's true. You might be thinking, "Lolwuts? No thei cant!" But you are wrong. There is no dishonour in you being wrong, it's just that your simple, puny, non-Draenei mind cannot comprehend their greatness. Allow me to explain further.
Draenei can be DKs and Mages. Therefore they are like Warlocks.
Draenei can be Shamans, Warriors, and Mages. Therefore they are like Druids.
Draenei can be Hunters and Warriors. Therefore they are like Rogues.
Q.E.D.
Tails:
This item shouldn't even be discussed. It is common knowledge that anything WITH a tail is better than anything without one. Einstein once put it simply:
Tails > No Tails
Tails are very useful when you want to cook, clean, kill, open letters, mate, etc. In fact, a Draenei skilled in the use of his tail can actually kill a Blood Elf, cook it, clean up the blood, check his mail, and give you a new baby all at the same time. You know Nightcrawler? He has a tail too.
All in all, Draenei are better than you in every way possible. You wonder why Draenei are so religious? It's because they are worshiping their maker that they were not made like you.
Post by
Queggy
Failure, I know. But I was bored.
:P
Maybe Noxychu will approve . . .
Post by
Sagramor
They've been running from the same person for ages until they found a group of people to help.
Draenei run.
Orcs stand and fight.
Draenei < Orcs, it's been proven.
Post by
Queggy
Draenei < Orcs, it's been proven.
I like Orcs a lot too.
:P
Why don't you write a thread like this one about Orcs?
Post by
Sagramor
Because Nathzerim are better?
Post by
150866
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Post by
115437
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Queggy
Well at least Draenei have two genders.
Oh yeah, I went there.
Lol.
Good thread.
11/10
Heh, thanks. Even though I ripped the idea.
Post by
Sagramor
Queggy I think when you "rip of" your own idea, it's not ripping off. It's having a sequel. As to why Nathzerim are better than all:
They. Corrupted. Sargeras.
Not even worth discussing.
Post by
280645
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Queggy
Queggy I think when you "rip of" your own idea, it's not ripping off. It's having a sequel.
Except the Troll thread is Chess/Caribou16's . . .You know Nightcrawler? He has a tail too.
Lol that's what won it over in my mind.
Lol, thanks. It's true though! He uses his tail for a lot of stuff!
Post by
289682
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
260787
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Noxychu
12 billion thumbs up.
Post by
Queggy
:D
Post by
Sagramor
You forgot to mention they're a cross between a smurf, a goat, and Davy Jones.
Post by
340646
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Sagramor
12 billion thumbs up.
Some kinda alien?:O
Said the gnome...
Post by
Queggy
You forgot to mention they're a cross between a smurf, a goat, and Davy Jones.
I said at the top that they were blueberry squid-goats . . . >.>
Post by
TheMediator
Not sure if anyone caught this but :
Playable Classes:
Draenei can be any race.
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