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PETA to attack horde
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Post by
Triforceelf
The following is what happens when Oximusprime (me) stays home sick with a fever and is given access to the internet.
http://www.wowinsider.com/2009/04/07/peta-rally-to-protest-seal-slaughter/
Northrend, Star Date 4 8 15 16 23 42
PETA to attack the horde.
PETA is well known for its animal activism, and is taking its campaign to Azeroth. After Warchief Thrall and Supreme Northrend Commander Grommash Hellscream refused to take away the vital commerce that the hunting and skinning of Nothrend animals brings to the horde and its allies, the Tuskar and Taunka, PETA has decided to declare open war on the horde using its alliance fringe elements. They will be attacking any horde trying to eck out a living from the needed meat and fur of the seals, despite protests form horde leadership.
Chieftain Ashtotem of the Howling Fjord Taunka has been quoted as saying, "The seal population provides a needed source of food for the Taunka people, as well as their skins providing clothing, shelter and armor for defense against the elements and scourge, as well as trade materials for much needed weapons. We are puzzled by PETA's action in this matter." Chief Ashtotem has gone on to state that the Taunka have always "strived to find balance in their hunts." And are willing to negotiate with PETA to prevent permanent damage to the seal population.
Elder Atuik has also gone on the record supporting Chief Ashtotem stating that, "Both the Kalu'ak and the Bulls-that-hunt-the-land-and-sea seek only to have harmonious balance with the elements. We also work hard with the green-skins-who-yell-loudly and the pale-skins-who-stick-their-noses-in-other-peoples-business to ensure that no lasting harm will come to the great creatures of our lands. We would welcome the people of PETA to our councils, if only they would listen to reason."
However, Arch Druid Lathorius of D.E.H.T.A has responded to these claims, stating that "The slaughter of these innocent animals is our most pressing concern, the Horde and its allies should be careful lest they follow in the path of the Great Desecrator, Hemet Nestingwary."
King Varian Wynn could not be reached for comment, however his chin has released a statement that, “The peoples of Azeroth should be banding together to fight off greater threats such as the blue dragonflight and the armies of the lich king, not worrying about sea- Wait, you said it involved killing horde? Of course this atrocious action must be stopped! To arms brothers! SLAY THEM ALL! FOR THE SEALS!”
Thrall, Warchief of the horde was also preoccupied, however his right hand Troll Vol'jin when asked responded, “I think I smoked a babeh seal once mon. “
Commander Hellscream when asked about the seals threw and angst filled fit of rage about the state of the horde and the weaklings surrounding him. He was then put to bed by High Overlord Saurfang, who stated that it was far past Grommashes bed time, where Hellscream was seen holding a small doll and crying about the “Greatmother dying.”
High Overlord Saurfang commented that, “The Horde reserves the right to cleave anything it wishes.” And that “They only reason baby seals still exist is that I haven’t cleaved them yet.”
When asked about their thoughts on this matter, baby seals were very cute and cuddly, until they were eaten by an Orca along with the PETA members at the protest. The PETA members were observed despretly trying to kill off the orca population, citing that they were “Not cute enough to live.”
Post by
Dusklight
Ha ha.
Post by
88195
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
MischievousLoki
are you actually oxiumusprime or did you just copy this from his post on forums.worldofwarcraft.com?
If not, it might be nice if you take off the part that says that it is you, and/or add a disclaimer.
Post by
ArgentSun
The following is what happens
when Oximusprime (me) stays home sick
with a fever and is given access to the internet.
http://www.wowinsider.com/2009/04/07/peta-rally-to-protest-seal-slaughter/
Loki, I think this answers your question :)
Very nice read, Oximusprime/Triforceelf! Don't want to so sound obnoxious, but be sick more often (just kidding!) :P I would definitely like to see more press releases from Azeroth.
EDIT: Also, are you sure this doesn't belong to our
new forum
? :)
Post by
301325
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Post by
73830
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Post by
Triforceelf
cool story bro
YES! FINALLY! I am now an interwebs an hero!
And yes, I am Triforceelf/Oximusprime. I do not know how much of an RP this is though, I was pretty much making this up as I went :D (Wait, thats how I RP....
I suppose I could come up with a regular news paper article of some sort relating to WoW, it wouldnt be to hard to keep up the parody. I made this thread and the thread on the WoW general boards,
http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=16137616994&sid=1
I suppose if the response to this is positive enough I might be enough of an attention %^&*! to make another :P
Post by
187668
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
201933
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Triforceelf
they're just tired of
my warrior alt
getting ganked while afk... let them be!
Best. Name. Ever.
*runs off to use his 2h mace to kill Babyseal*
Post by
344679
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Post by
StumpJumper
You should enter the Blizz Writing contest - check it out on the blizz homepage - at the bottom.
Post by
206732
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Post by
299915
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Post by
246431
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Post by
315859
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
ArgentSun
YES! FINALLY! I am now an interwebs an hero!
And yes, I am Triforceelf/Oximusprime. I do not know how much of an RP this is though, I was pretty much making this up as I went :D (Wait, thats how I RP....
I suppose I could come up with a regular news paper article of some sort relating to WoW, it wouldnt be to hard to keep up the parody. I made this thread and the thread on the WoW general boards,
http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=16137616994&sid=1
I suppose if the response to this is positive enough I might be enough of an attention %^&*! to make another :P
It looks like your Blizzard forums thread was deleted...or moved. Why don't you make one here, and we could arrange some recognition on weekly basis? :)
Post by
179111
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Post by
324950
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
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