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The Lore and Roleplaying Weekly Writing Challenge
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Post by
Stabhorn
Challenge Entry #2
The Saronite Halls of Icecrown Citadel had long been abandoned, except for the few undead who were to stupid, or to clever, to leave just yet. Eerie blue flames danced in braziers hanging from the high roof, causing the five figures below to cast flickering shadows on the floor.
Their dark skin was pale and ragged, their elf-like ears pricked, trying to detect hidden sounds. Long black cloaks swept silently across the ground as they moved forward. Long fangs glistened like their sickle-shaped swords.
The leader stopped suddenly, gesturing for the others to do likewise. The figure’s cowl fell back, revealing long blonde hair and a female face. Red eyes glowed in the gloom, “I know you’re here, Tragun…” she hissed, staring up at the roof, “I can smell you…” A slow smile spread across her face.
The four others followed their mistress’s lead, throwing back their cloaks and discarding them. They were muscularly built males, with ornate silver armor. “Do not challenge the San’Layn!” They snarled in perfect unison.
An echoing voice suddenly reverberated through out the room, “For someone who doesn’t wan’ ta die…” A troll, garbed in leather, landed on the floor, ten feet away from the female San’Layn, “You’re rather noisy, mon!”
The four San’Layn men walked forward, speaking as one, “Those who challenge the Princess Arman’Dar will die!”
Tragun sniffed, twin daggers of gold suddenly appearing in his hands, “You may try, mon. But I’m not ready ta die just yet.”
The undead rushed forward, sickle blades whistling as they swung. Tragun’s daggers intercepted the blows of the first two vampires, and a kick caught the third under his chin, sending him down hard.
The fourth San’Layn advanced, “Your blood will taste so sweet, troll.”
“Ah’m a bitter pill, mon,” Tragun ducked under the swords of the first two undead, his daggers plunging into the first’s chest. Ignoring the Fallen’s dying screams, Tragun leapt into the air, coming down on the astonished San’Layn, daggers plunging into his neck.
Tragun turned, blocking the blows of the other San’Layn. They danced across the hall, their weapons screaming in a symphony of death. Tragun lashed out with his foot, connecting with the San’Layn’s ribs. The undead cried out and fell. The troll quickly slit the undead’s throat.
The fourth San’Layn suddenly grabbed Tragun from behind, sinking his fangs into the troll’s neck. Smoothly, the troll elbowed his opponent in the gut, causing him to double over. Tragun plunged his daggers into the San’Layn’s back.
“Bravo!” The Princess laughed, raising her own sword, “I am most impressed, Tragun! Now come and die on my blade!”
Tragun stepped over the corpse of his fallen opponent, “Let’s finish dis.”
Arman’Dar grinned, “You know, for an assassin, you’re rather direct.”
The troll shook his head, “What be givin’ ya dat idea? Ah’m not da assassin!”
“What?” Confusion swam in the San’Layn’s eyes, “What do you mean?” Arman’Dar suddenly screamed as a sword blade appeared to blossom from her chest. Blood poured forth, coating the ground. The Princess gave one last gasp and collapsed, expiring in a pool of her own blood.
The blood elf withdrew her from the undead’s corpse, “Well done, Tragun. I’ll make an assassin of you yet…”
Critique is welcomed here.
Post by
470415
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Stabhorn
@Stabhorn
While well written, I'm not sure this could exactly count as a stealth piece. I feel like the only deception shows up at the end with the mysterious second assassin. The rest of the piece just feels like your average RP beat'm'up.
Yea I know it wasn't very good; with all my ideas for the novel I'm working on, it gets hard to focus on other writing projects. :/
Post by
470415
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
morginar
Challenge #2, entry #1
It was near midnight in the Hillsbrad Foothills. In the dark forests an abandoned castle towered up. Half in ruin from what one might suspect to be a dragon, or the cause of past wars. The keep looked abandoned at first glance, but every so often. A light flickered past those dark windows. What the building now housed was an easy guess, bandits. Now the elf was going to make the leader lose his head.
Approaching in the covers of trees and fauna was Mithraldin Dawnslayer. A copper haired blood elf, dressed in a suit of dark brown leathers. Covering her chest and legs but its sleeves are short. And she naturally wears boots, belt, shoulder pads and gloves with exposed fingers to help her with her climbing. Onto her legs a pair daggers made from the newly discovered metal known as elementium are attached. Over her shoulders and down to her ankles a dark green cloak hanged.
The elf pulled up her black cloth she called mask up her face and the hood on the mantle to hide better.
Carefully the sin'dorei began to sneak to the wall of the citadel. Mithraldin stroked her hands over the masonry. It was old, the stones where large. Climbing the wall should be easy enough.
And so the agile elf began her climb upwards. After a minute long climb up to a window. She slipped through it. Mithraldin now faced to options. Right or left? She gazed to the right, nothing. To the left, a small glimmer of light moving. She turned left and came to face yet again. Two options, one seems to lead to a staircase up, the other into a room with stairs down. And on the far edge of that room is a door, with torchlight coming. Damn. The elf took the stairs up.
Mithraldin now found herself on the roof. There she saw a guard staring into the landscape with a lantern in his left hand and a crossbow in his right. Slowly the elf moved closer to the highwayman and unsheathed one of her daggers into her right hand. With a quick left hand over the victims mouth and an equally fast dagger in her right hand his throat was sliced open. The man meets his end and the elf carefully and silently laid down the dead to make it look like he was sleeping on first glance.
Mithraldin crouched and walked on the tip of her toes to the other side of the roof. There was only one direction to move. One side had the open land and the other had tiles. In front of her was another staircase, this one going down. Mithraldin followed it.
Having moved down the elf saw to her amusement that before her was the window she had entered the keep. With three long steeps Mithraldin passed through an opening to her right. If it was once a door or if the wall had broken down, she did not know, nor care at the moment.
In this newly found room that looked like a mess hall with a wooden throne on the far end. In that throne slept a human, presumably the ringleader. Then something unexpected happened. Something cold and sharp touched her throat. Her fel cursed eyes gazed down to a short sword. Whoever holds that blade made one mistake. He had moved too close to her. She could see his hand holding the hilt to her right.
Mithraldin griped the wrist and pulled it backwards, forcing the steel away from her throat. Next the sin’dorei crouched and pulled the arm hard and hurled the assaulter to lie at her feet. With a quick push with her free hand on the hilt of the sword it pierced the man’s heart.
Looking at the throne she could see the bandit leader awakening. The kill had been too loud. Curses and damnation!
“You killed Billy.” The bandit lord said with a weary voice and yawned.
The elf remained silent. Her hands reached to her daggers. The human ringleader did the same, but he reached for his shoulder pads, for that is where he carries his knives.
The elf ran on the table where once knights where sure to have eaten, gotten drunk and danced.
The bandit however tossed his right dagger towards the elf, which she ducked with ease and ended up doing a roll on the table. This event caused the old woodwork to collapse at last.
The leader used this opportunity to charge to where the elf would lie. But those two and three quarters of a second that movement took the elf was already on her feet. The leader tried to cut in an arch with his left hand. But Mithraldin moved in close to the ringleader, very close and the attack missed. The elf also used this opportunity to counterattack.
The bandit took two steps back and looked onto his chest. Both his lungs where pierced. A sweet taste filled his mouth as he coughed up blood and then feel to the ground, dead.
Soon thereafter a certain sin’dorei made her way into the bandit treasury and then vanished from the keep where once knights of the silver hand resided.
Post by
Mojoworkn
((A ghost appears!))
Challenge #3 Entry #1
The Dalaran Library was no ordinary building according to Ava Solvaren. Within its marbled walls sat vast pools of knowledge waiting to be tapped and drunk. The books resting on the old, dusty bookshelves were like sweet pots of honey, untouched and longing to be eaten. Many would turn their backs on this garden of knowledge with a single whiff of the musty air or a glance at the crooked chandeliers hanging far above, but not Ava; the library was where Ava felt at home. When she stood at its center in the rotunda, she could not help but feel lost, as if stranded in the middle of the Veiled Sea. It was a feeling she loved.
Ava’s obsession with books was fueled by her obsession with the obtainment of knowledge. Rather than spending her time enhancing her magical abilities as her family and friends had wished, Ava indulged herself in books. Her bookish nature allowed her to develop a vast understanding of everything magical. This knowledge, however, is not easily transferred to the physical realm. Despite knowing the ins and outs of the arcane world, Ava's magical abilities are lackluster, much to the disappointment of everyone who knew of her great magical affinity.
Some friends, however, never gave up on that potential.
The high elf scurried down the aisles of the Dalaran Library one sunny afternoon in search of a particular book. Clutched under her right arm she held a copy of
Griffons: Eagle or Lion?
as well as the fourth edition of
The Arcane Arts
. Ava scanned the golden placards tacked on to the shelves.
A smile crept across her face when she came across the correct aisle labelled “High Elven Society.” Ava gently set her two books down on an oak end table and went about searching the long rows of old tomes for the book she desired. She quickly pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail as she crouched down to the bottom self. In her focused search, she did not notice a human woman walk up behind her.
“
Terrible
afternoon, Ava!” the woman cheerily cried. Her hair was messy and unkept, matching her mismatched, and quite eccentric, attire. Ava squealed and jumped to her feet.
“Jane Selone! How many times do I have to tell you not to startle me when I’m looking for books. I could have knocked over this one here,” Ava said, flushing with embarrassment and pointing toward a spine that read, The High Cuisine.
“I’m
not sorry
,” Jane said with a frown. She stared at Ava with intensity and purpose. “I’m
not here
with a message from Isirami. She
does not request
a meeting with you in a few hours to
not discuss
you
not joining
the Council of Magi.” Ava sighed and massaged her hands. This was the fourth time this week her friend had asked to speak with her privately—the previous three meetings Ava failed to attend. To make matters worse, she was having trouble deciphering Jane’s opposite-speak. Normally, she had no problem translating, but Jane’s sudden appearance had caught her off guard. Ava tried to come up with a valid excuse.
“That’s very awkwardly formal of you, Jane, but I’m a little busy at the moment . . .”
“Izzy says
yes
is
an answer
this time.”
“You mean no is not an answer?”
“
No
,” Jane said simply. Ava had a quick moment of confusion before understanding Jane’s answer was the opposite of her intentions. “Is something
alright
?” Jane asked.
“Sorry—or is it
not sorry
?—I have trouble translating your speech sometimes, especially when I was just in the middle of finding this wonderful book that I have been looking for and will be looking for hours upon hours after this conversation ends.”
“Izzy
forgot
to mention that you would try to make excuses,” Jane said flatly and with an eye roll. “I
understand
. Why do you constantly
accept
our offers to join the Council of Magi? You have
absolutely no
talent in the magical field and would make a
terrible
asset to our team. Plus, we
haven’t
known each other for years. Is there a reason why you
will
join your
enemies
?”
Ava paused a moment to decipher the message behind Jane’s words.
“It’s nothing like that, Jane. I’ve known Izzy my whole life and you and your sister for at least half. Arlan and Kor can be . . . intense at times but I love them just as much as you three. It’s not my lack of wanting to be around the members of the Council nor what I am capable of offering you.”
“Then what is it
not like
?”
“There’s no desire in me to do what you do—magic that is. I adore reading about it, I fantasize about the endless possibilities of it, but when it comes down to me actually doing it, I have no love for it. Of course I still use magic in my everyday life, but not to make the changes that the Council makes. I use it out of necessity and love of the art, not out of the passion to change Dalaran for the better. I just want to stick to my books, and you should respect me for that,” Ava finished, causing a brief silence to envelop between the two of them.
“Books are
bad
,” Jane began. “I’m
glad
that you’ve made this decision, but I will
criticize
you for it.”
“I assume that means I garnered some respect?”
“
No
,” Jane said with a smile. She embraced Ava in a long hug. “I better not go tell Izzy why she will be seeing you in a few hours.”
“Tell Izzy that, next time, she should come visit me herself if she wants to nag me about joining the Council again,” Ava said, letting go of the embrace. Jane chuckled.
“I
won’t
,” she said, departing and disappearing amongst the towering shelves of the Dalaran Library. Ava stood deep in thought pondering what reaction Isirami might have to her comment. Knowing that Jane would be blatantly honest with her lifelong friend, she knew she would have to reconcile later.
With peace reestablished both physically and mentally, Ava resumed her arduous search. A large stack of books she deemed interesting began to pile up in her arms, including the titles of
Magical Meditation
,
The Hungry Elf
, and the obviously misplaced
Human Kingdoms of the East
. She began to crawl on her hands and knees after exhausting the shelves above her waist of all the compelling titles. “Ah, here it is!” Ava exclaimed, pulling out a large, green tome with silver lettering etched across the cover.
In an excited frenzy, Ava gathered her belongings and departed with her new book,
The Tale of Two Friends
.
Post by
oneforthemoney
Morginar
: Your spelling here was much better than your earlier pieces, and the process of events undertaken well recorded. Reading it, though I gained an excellent idea of her proficiency in murder, I can't help but think I didn't get much of a feel for her personality. The stealth was well done however, particularly how her failure imperiled her by awakening the bandit leader.
Mojoworkn
: Ermagersh! Merjer!
That said, I enjoyed your entry. The strange quirks of Jane and Ava's efforts to converse effectively was quite charming, and they managed to express a great deal of personality and story between them. The last line was very cute and capped the story of wonderfully. The only criticism I have is that we may not have been given much information on Ava's appearance, but the personality that comes through from her more than accounts for it.
Berger Billus was a man of confidence.
It could be seen in his walk, in his face, in the way he nodded to every man he met; that condescending nod that said he was better than them, he knew it, but he was willing to admit they might know a few things he did not. Of course, these were not important things, nor particularly interesting besides, but things nevertheless. He was a chef, a master, his meals had adorned the tables of royalty (his recipes) to peasants (his charities), the merchant wharf and table of the harbourmaster to whom he was now employed.
He was a deeply unpleasant man in both temper and appearance, the latter of such remarkability it turned more than a few heads as he moved down the tangled roads of the trade district. His neck was long like a ducks, his face like a fish with eyes that bulged when excited. He walked as though he were filled with volatile oil, swinging his hips first one side, then the other, a heavy gait that caused any in his path to duck aside or be flung that way. He wore his chef’s hat like a crown wherever he went, high and haughty like a giant stalk of broccoli. His extremities seemed impossibly small when compared to his trunk, legs squat and stumped and tiny arms that flung themselves out at every step.
As he moved he would regularly wipe his forehead, skin flush and golden as though he had bathed in butter before going outdoors.
Such was the man seen stomping through Stormwind, bobbing head, when he stopped he first had to slow, lest his weight overbalance. He did so now, slowing like a freight train, a calculated halt, designed, he stopped and swung his pendulous bulk about. Before him squatted a fruit stand, canopy low over the array of produce available. Behind it sheltered a shawled older woman, face wrinkled as a walnut and browned by long years beneath baking sun.
Piggish eyes roamed over the items displayed. Berger huffed like a chimney. “What’s this?”
“Apricots.”
“Apricots!” Berger bellowed, his arms flapping out excitedly.
“Mmm.”
“These! These are not apricots!” Fingers like pudgy sausages grabbed one of the fruits. “These! These apricots?” He turned about, presenting the little fruit to anyone who would look, and there were a few. Those less interested in the point, and more in the spectacle of the comical man. Berger, in that way that man who cannot tell the difference between presenting the spectacle and being one, opened his mouth like a gaping fish and heaved his words at any nearby. “Apricots she claims! But I…You know me, gentlemen, no doubt. If not I, then my reputation. I am sure. No doubt. Berger Bilius!”
“They’re apricots,” the little woman insisted sullenly.
Berger whirled on the pitiful shape beneath the canopy with the sudden anger of being interrupted, his face pugnacious and red with affront. “You think so! You think so! My stars woman!” Berger cried, again his arms waving in spasms. “Apricots! These shriveled things. These raisins are not apricots.”
“They’re apricots,” she asserted again.
“Criminal!” Berger squealed. He turned to the curious crowd in triumph, as though unmasking the woman for some mastermind. He thrust the fruit provided high, a trophy, unimpeachable evidence for all to see. “Criminal! She calls these apricots! Apricots!”
No longer was any affirmation offered, the old woman retreating into her shawl like a turtle before the curious prying eyes.
Berger waddled forward, gesticulating once more with roars to the crowd. His eyes gleamed and bulged from the rolls of fat which composed his face. Arms flailed with furious abandon. “Aprictos! Oh! Oh! My heart! My heart! For this, gentlemen! Ladies! Do you see this? This?” He thrust the fruit out for all to see. “Fruit! Apricots! It raises my bile you see! My bile! Look at this fruit. Do any of you, looking at this, see what is wrong! These shriveled things, pawned to you all! Do you see?” He waved the fruit explanatorily. “Look at it!”
“It’s an apricot,” the old woman muttered once more.
“An apricot! Ough! Ough!” Berger grunted, a tiny arm flapping against his chest. “My heart! Good lady! Your senses, quite clearly, have been addled. Addled and lost. No doubt, indeed, no doubt you did not intend to cheat these…these fine people who surround us. But these fruits?” He suddenly threw his bulk towards the cart, thrusting the apricot at the woman in the shadows. “These…cheat! No doubt…No doubt you did not intend this. No. You must…you must repent!”
“They’re fine apricots…”
“Fine! Madame! My…Madame! Oh! Ough! My heart. Fine indeed! How can you make such a claim! I…I swear! You must stop this at once! I…”
He suddenly reeled back, tiny arms reaching for his chest. “Ough! My…My heart! Ough!” People watched in far more curiosity now as the fat man stumbled about, gurgled inarticulately with a face red as a tomato. People listened intently, amazed at first a little pop like a cork, then the crash of the body as Berger collapsed, stone dead.
Fortunately, before they carted away the body (having ample time, as they realized four horses would be needed instead of the two brought) someone managed to pry the apricot from the sausage fingers, thus ensuring nothing of value was lost that day.
Post by
355559
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
470415
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
morginar
By PvP you mean like a BG. One "persons" characters vs mine? Or two of mine dueling outside ironforge/ogrimmar?
Post by
470415
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Atik
Challenged Entry #4
Resources
To begin with, you start with 50 points to spend.
You have three resources to spend them on: Health, Mana, and Spell Slots.
Each point spent on Health or Mana grants 10 to your maximum. Each point spent for Spell Slots gives you a choice of one more spell to add to your arsenal.
Health
is your first, and most vital, resource. There are some spells that cost health, although most cost mana. Similarly, battle mechanics are designed in a way that you will spend a good amount of combat losing health at varying speeds. Outside of combat, your health regenerates at a rate of 25 points per post. If, in combat, your health reaches 0, your character dies.
Mana
is your second resource. Most of your available actions will cost mana, with more powerful spells generally costing more mana. Outside of combat, similar to your health, mana regenerates at a rate of 25 points per post.
Before moving onwards, I would like to touch on how these resources relate to a couple functions.
Basic Attacks
do not cost mana, are do not require purchase with a spell slot. These can be anything from attacking with your sword, to shooting an arrow, to throwing magic from a wand. These attacks, with only some exceptions, will always do 5 damage.
Avoidence
is an action that does cost mana, but does not take up a spell slot. However, as will be explained later, it will take up your spell cast during a post. Basic avoidance costs 10 mana, and can be anything from blocking an attacks, to dodging it, or other ways which your character would avoid damage. Basic Attacks will do no damage through Avoidence, but some spells will retain some damage, and some are unblockable.
Spells
As touched on earlier, each Spell Slot allows you to add one spell to your arsenal. A very important fact is that
Spells do NOT need to be magical.
As examples. A healing spell can be your character using a health potion, or bandaging themselves. Your choice of action does not change the stats or effects, but allows you to make your own decision on what your character can and can't do, or what they would do.
The following is a list of Combat Spells. Outside of combat, your stats have minimal importance, and you are free to use magic or actions not listed on your character sheet for the purpose of story.
Basicbolt
: 20 Damage at the cost of 10 Mana. Is completely blocked by Avoidance. Comparable to Frostbolt or Heroic Strike.
Strongbolt
: 50 Damage for 30 Mana. Is completely blocked by Avoidance. Comparable to Explosive Shot or Obliterate.
Unblockablebolt
: 40 Damage for 30 Mana. The damage of this spell cannot be blocked at all. Comparable to Backstab or Lava Surge.
Greatblast
50 Damage for 40 Mana. This spell can hit two targets. Blocking this spell results in it doing 10 Damage. Comparable to Multi-shot or Arcane Explosion.
Ultrablast
60 Damage for 60 Mana. This spell can hit three targets. Blocking this spell results in it doing 30 Damage. Reign of Fire or Blizzard.
Masterblast
80 Damage for 100 Mana. This spell hits everyone present in combat. Blocking this spell results in it doing 70 Damage. Comparable to Earthquake. Yes, the move from Pokemon.
Heal
Restores 50 Health for 50 Mana.
Mana-Restore
Restores 50 Mana for 50 Health.
Note: The above names are placeholders for the sake of simplicity, and in no way are suggestions for what your character calls their attacks.
Combat
Being based in a text-based roleplay, Combat is obviously turn-based. Your turn is divided into two actions; a
Basic Attack
and a
Spell
. This actions can be preformed in either order, if you chose preform both of them. Additionally, it should be noted that you can instead chose to make two Basic Attacks.
Avoidance
counts as your spell on the turn it is used.
In addition to the usual header of posts, you should include a
Footer
. Your footer shall reflect your characters actions during the post as well as their stats at the
end
of your turn.
Basic Attack: 5 Damage for 0 Mana
Basicbolt: 20 Damage of 10 Mana
Health: Ded
Mana: Empty
At this point it moves onto your opponent's turn, which will include their reactions to your actions.
Outside of combat, only your health and mana need to be included in the footer.
Character
Last but not least, the character sheet. Please use this sheet when designing your character, and post it upon their introduction.
Name: Your character's name.
Race: Your character's species.
Gender: Your character's gender.
Health: The maximum Health of your character.
Mana: The maximum Mana of your character.
Spells: A list of spells your character has access to. Please feel free to rename them here, and perhaps offer short descriptions on what your character does. Simply include the original spell name in parenthesis.
Example:
Combustion (Basicbolt): Joe launches a burst of fire from his hand.
You may notice a distinct lack of "Appearance", "Personality", "History", or other normal sections. This is because they are unneeded. Race and gender are included for the sake of referance, but other than that the sheet is solely related to your character's stats.
Please note that in the current rules, death is permanent. Your characters do not respawn ever after reaching 0 health. However, you may feel free to create as many as you like using this ruleset.
So there's my PvP idea: statsheets. Feedback is welcomed, and I would actually love to do more with this if people like it.
Post by
morginar
Sounds nice Atik! Though it might just be me but the only thing that might be lacking is stats, but it might work perfectly fine without and just silly ol me stuck in games of stats. And is there a diffrance in mana cost in a melee spell and a ranged spell? Like for example a rend and a firebolt?
But all things considered I definetly like the Idea and I do desire it as a RP-PvP. :D
Post by
Atik
Sounds nice Atik! Though it might just be me but the only thing that might be lacking is stats, but it might work perfectly fine without and just silly ol me stuck in games of stats. And is there a diffrance in mana cost in a melee spell and a ranged spell? Like for example a rend and a firebolt?
But all things considered I definetly like the Idea and I do desire it as a RP-PvP. :D
To be honest, I have a LOT of other spell ideas. I mostly kept it limited for the sake of simplicity and getting the idea across.
And no, melee and ranged spells are all based on the same "Skeleton Spells" that I listed. So they all have the same stats to them.
Post by
Skreeran
I keep meaning to get caught up on this, but never remember. I have Wednesday off, though, so I'll try and post an entry for each of the challenges I've missed then.
Post by
Skreeran
Challenge #2 - Entry #1
Snowmane’s heart pounded in her chest. As she pressed her back against the tree trunk, she could hear the voices of her pursuers behind her.
“Oi! Come out, ye great white beast,” the dwarf bellowed bawdily. “We only wanna talk…”
“If you might shut you wide mouth, Goffir,” an elven voice gracefully interjected, “perhaps we might listen for her ourselves, mm?”
The dwarf grumbled quietly, but silenced himself. Snowmane held her breath in terror. She didn’t dare look behind the tree and see how far out they were. covering her mouth with her hand, she carefully let out a breath, and quietly chanted a Muffle spell. Letting out a sigh of relief, she cast a Lesser Invisibility spell and peeked around the corner. She spied four figures: a male dwarf, a male High Elf, a female human, and a male gnome. The elf and the gnome wore mage robes, while the other two wore heavy plate armor.
Ducking back behind the tree, Snowmane waited as the brief invisibility spell wore off. Taking a deep breath, she cast a Blink spell and warped behind a nearby tree, not far behind where the group was standing.
Preparing to cast another invisibility spell, she hesitated when the human woman stopped in place and bent over.
“I’ve found a print,” she announced, looking at the others. “She’s nearby. Fan out and find her.”
Snowmane waited and watched as the group spread out, with the gnome and dwarf immediately walked off into the forest, and the human and elf stayed together and searched at a slower pace. Deciding to follow the dwarf and gnome first, she chanted her Greater Invisibility spell and set off on foot after them.
It didn’t take long for her to catch up, which was fortunate, because her invisibility spell wouldn’t last forever. She faded back into visibility behind the dwarf, who had managed to wander away from his gnome companion, and was presently looking for footprints on the ground. Snowmane scoffed silently and looked carefully at the short man, before waving her paw in front of her face and applying a Facesteal spell. Waiting a moment, she carefully snuck up behind him, her footsteps muffled by her spell, when suddenly the dwarf took a deep sniff and looked behind him.
“Ach, yer… wot?” he managed to stutter as Snowmane opened a portal to Dalaran behind him and gave him a stiff kick through. Quickly shutting the portal, she dusted her hands off, removed her Muffle spell, and took a look around for the gnome.
She found him nearby, speaking to a hawk familiar. As she approached, the gnome looked up and adjusted his glasses.
“Yes, well, did you find anything?”
“Nope,” she answered, raising her hand and turning the gnome into a sheep. The hawk squawked in surprise, and flew at Snowmane’s face, only to be turned into a sheep itself and falling to the ground besides its master.
“Just two to go…” she muttered, heading back to the other group.
She found them in a clearing, the elf apparently scrying in vain for her location. The human woman turned towards her, looking displeased by something.
“Did you find her?” she asked flatly. “Why did you return?”
“We, uh, didna haff any look seerchin’ that wee,” Snowmane mumbled, not expecting to be challenged so soon. “Aye was wondrin’ if yee’d had any success o’er ‘ere.”
“That is a terrible impression,” the human replied, rolling her eyes and nodding to the elf. The elf, meanwhile, suddenly hurled a pyroblast at Snowmane, whose eyes went wide as she screamed out a counterspell, dissolving the burning rock into hot air mere inches in front of her face. Deciding not to wait for the elf to follow that up, she held out her left hand and froze the mage in a block of solid ice, just before the human charged her. Blinking through a swing of the woman’s two-handed sword, she abandoned her dwarven disguise and split herself into four Mirror Images instead.
The warrior woman was quick to push the attack, though, and it took mere moments for her first illusory clone to be impaled through the chest and vanish in a push of bluish smoke. Snowmane didn’t fail to counterattack, however, and swiftly applied a Slow spell on the woman. Dodging a sluggish swing of the warrior’s massive sword, she cast a Frost Nova, freezing her opponent’s feet in place. Quickly moving around behind her, Snowmane charged up an Arcane Blast in her palm and prepared to apply it to the back of the woman’s head.
“And stop!” a voice cried out behind her.
Snowmane turned to see a High Elf in elegant Archmage’s Regalia shimmer into view. He was clapping.
“Congratulations, Miss Bloodhowl,” he stated, smiling. “I’m pleased to announce you’ve passed Dalaran’s Illusion School Field Exam.”
C&C welcome. I whipped this up in the span of about an hour, so I'm a little disappointed in the pacing.
Post by
Mojoworkn
Feedback for Everyone After My Post:
Money:
One of the strengths of your writing is the inherent flow that it has from one paragraph (one thought) to another. I think it's this flow, coupled with colorful verbs and adjectives, that kept your seemingly simple story extremely interesting. I'm inferring that he was making a ruckus just to have attention on him, but possibly making his intentions clearer could help. His death also felt deserved with what we knew about him. Nice job!
Light:
I enjoy the simplicity of this piece as it doesn't detract from the amazement Anarellion has with the enchanting process. The introduction of him wondering what becomes of his work, rather than just him loving to do it, also serves to flesh out his character even more so. While reading, I did notice a few odd sentence structures and a comma or two missing here and there. Overall, well done! Also, the pun made me chuckle.
Atik:
The idea of a stats sheet for a PvP RP is really cool. I think you're idea really could work. Morg kinda brought this up but I think there does need to be an inclusion of more spells to make it more exciting. The idea as a whole, though, is super plausible. Curiously, is there a base Health and Mana amount or do you have to spend some of those original 50 points to actually get a starting pool for those?
Skree:
For whipping that up in an hour the pacing was still pretty damn good. Given I'm reading this at a ridiculous hour so that might affect my judgement...but I didn't think the story was too fast or too slow. The pacing, to me, made sense. It was an interesting, and almost archetypal, play on the "sneak mission" where it starts off stealthy and ends with a bang. Not only did it end with a big fight scene, it ended with a surprise ending! I thought your writing was clever with just enough dialogue and action to keep things moving. As for critique: don't know why, but I was having trouble differentiating between the elf and the human. Making that clearer, might have been stronger. All in all, well done!
Yay feedback!
Post by
470415
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
oneforthemoney
Preparing for exams. I'll see if I can manage something for next week.
Post by
355559
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
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