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Girl/Boy Discussion Thread
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Post by
Azazel
Girls are incredibly unpredictable and mysterious. Guys are just horny.
Girls can be just horny too.
Yeah, but those are just the skanks. All guys are horny :P
Post by
OverZealous
Girls are incredibly unpredictable and mysterious. Guys are just horny.
Girls can be just horny too.
Yeah, but those are just the skanks. All guys are horny :P
/Sexist stereotype off
;)
Post by
Azazel
Dragqueen? :P
Post by
ElhonnaDS
I do have a few points of clarification about the "friend zone," from a woman's point of view.
1) Very often, women like to be pursued. Not just hung around with in the hopes that she pursues you, but actively pursued. It makes us feel that the other person thinks we're attractive and worth some effort on their part to win over, and not just someone they're willing to bang if the opportunity is handed to them. This is a societal double-standard- I agree- but nonetheless it's what will work for you more often than sitting around and hoping for the perfect chance. If you are sitting in the friend zone, and you never came right out and asked the girl out, or said you were interested in her, you're sabotaging your own chances.
2) I find different things attractive in a friend than I do in a mate. I'm allowed- so are you. It doesn't mean I want a dirtbag, or that there is some screwed up brain chemistry that keeps me from seeing that Person A is "clearly" a better choice than Person B. How arrogant is it to assume that just because someone is not interested in you, there's something wrong with them?
2) Many times, from what I have seen, the "mixed signals" in the friend zone are a woman's attempt to tell you as politely as possible that she's not interested. If she's your friend, she won't want to hurt you. If she's a nice person, then she still won't want to hurt you. So she won't say "I think you are unattractive, or not mature enough for me to date, or you seem really irresponsible and I'm not sure I want to sign myself up for that." She'll give you reasons that are less personally offensive, and more about her, or circumstances, to try and save your dignity. And many guys refuse to accept a no unless it's delivered with enough brutality to totally wipe out their image of this girl as a "nice girl."
If a girl is interested in you, unless she's really shy, you'll know. She will make time to see you, will call you even if she's busy, etc. Think about it in reverse- when you like a woman, are you usually too busy or too tired to call her or message her? Do you blow off hanging out with her when there's any other option? Or do you make it happen because you want to spend time with her? We're not that different- if a woman wants to see you and talk to you, she will. If she's doesn't, then she won't.
3) Often, a "nice guy's" behavior, when trying to deal with the woman he likes, follows certain patterns that most women understand. Being nice because you're nice is a great quality. Being nice because you want something is disingenuous. And the way we tell the difference, is that the guy who wants something in return for all his niceness gets angry and petulant when he doesn't get it. He whines about how she is obviously stupid or immature to not want him, sends passive aggressive texts and e-mails about how she hasn't returned his affections or hasn't called him enough, berates her boyfriends (who she cares about) to try and make himself look better, etc. If you're doing all that, then all of the "nice" you're touting was conditional on her giving you what you wanted, and women can see that a mile away.
A nice guy, who is just a nice guy, doesn't do those things. And you know what- many of them have no problems getting dates. I have had a lot of guy friends who are actually nice guys- they're thoughtful, respectful, ready to do anything for a friend, friendly, etc. Regardless of whether someone returns their interest or not. And most of them have no problem getting dates. They may not get every girl that they go after, but since they can accept no for an answer and not embarrass themselves by talking badly about that girl to all of their friends, they don't damage their reputation.
i'm not saying that there are never women who string guys along- they do, and they're not nice people. I'm not saying that a genuine nice guy can't have issues dating because he's shy, or for other reasons that aren't necessarily a bad reflection on him. But most of the cases I witness in my own groups of friends and acquaintances follow the above patterns.
Post by
324987
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
ElhonnaDS
No problem :)
If it makes you feel better, a lot of women do something similar. They don't call it the friend zone, but a lot of girls will talk over every different detail of a conversation or a date or a situation with their friends, who will then reassure them with all sorts of crazy anti-logic about all of the extenuating circumstances that could have led the guy to not call, or the date to not go well, even though "he probably really, really likes you." And that's 99% of the time nonsense too. So a text that says "We should see other people," gets deciphered over chocolate ice cream and white zinfandel to mean "He's obviously scared of how much he likes you- don't worry, he'll be back."
Post by
324987
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
pezz
3) Often, a "nice guy's" behavior, when trying to deal with the woman he likes, follows certain patterns that most women understand. Being nice because you're nice is a great quality. Being nice because you want something is disingenuous. And the way we tell the difference, is that the guy who wants something in return for all his niceness gets angry and petulant when he doesn't get it. He whines about how she is obviously stupid or immature to not want him, sends passive aggressive texts and e-mails about how she hasn't returned his affections or hasn't called him enough, berates her boyfriends (who she cares about) to try and make himself look better, etc. If you're doing all that, then all of the "nice" you're touting was conditional on her giving you what you wanted, and women can see that a mile away.
A nice guy, who is just a nice guy, doesn't do those things. And you know what- many of them have no problems getting dates. I have had a lot of guy friends who are actually nice guys- they're thoughtful, respectful, ready to do anything for a friend, friendly, etc. Regardless of whether someone returns their interest or not. And most of them have no problem getting dates. They may not get every girl that they go after, but since they can accept no for an answer and not embarrass themselves by talking badly about that girl to all of their friends, they don't damage their reputation.
Something got on Reddit Bestof a few days ago: Look at how a guy treats everyone
but
you if you want to see if he's a nice guy or not. Sooner or later that'll be you he's treating that way.
How big a deal is it to show up to prom without a date? My school never really gave a damn about it. You just went. But I realize that's not very traditional. If I was in your shoes I'd be well beyond my personal 'f this' threshold and wondering how many other people are going to show up without dates.
Post by
Lombax
My school is supposed to have some kind of psuedo prom, I will just go there to troll everyone. The plan will probably involve smoke bombs.
Post by
gamerunknown
I'm writing a short story involving a woman that gets up late for her classes in the morning.
What do women think when they wake up?
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
woohaa
I'm writing a short story involving a woman that gets up late for her classes in the morning.
What do women think when they wake up?
"Why is it so early? I want to die." True story.
This is my wife before she goes to work.
"Is it time to get up already? omg someone just shoot me." I hate my job i hate my boss i hate my life.
then she gets home and says how much she loves her job and then goes to bed.
Post by
Noxychu
I'm writing a short story involving a woman that gets up late for her classes in the morning.
What do women think when they wake up?
Usually the same thing men do.
Post by
Azazel
I'm writing a short story involving a woman that gets up late for her classes in the morning.
What do women think when they wake up?
Usually the same thing men do.
Trust me on this one.
No.
Post by
ElhonnaDS
I'm writing a short story involving a woman that gets up late for her classes in the morning.
What do women think when they wake up?
Usually the same thing men do.
Trust me on this one.
No.
Depends on the woman....
Some of them (read:us) totally do. At least some of the time.
Post by
Noxychu
I'm writing a short story involving a woman that gets up late for her classes in the morning.
What do women think when they wake up?
Usually the same thing men do.
Trust me on this one.
No.
Depends on the woman....
Some of them (read:us) totally do. At least some of the time.
Yep.
That and the Bladder.
Post by
Gzer0
Girl or Boy ? Which one usually trust his/her partner earlier in relationship ?
I'm not sure yet -- But in my opinion , Girls are so sensitive and can not trust their partner in the beginning of their relationship .
What do you think ?
Post by
Azazel
That's a a pretty bold statement, but I think that girls tend to be more careful when starting relationships.
Post by
Orranis
I hereby dub this thread of many feels. I shall be posting in it later.
Post by
Gzer0
That's a a pretty bold statement, but I think that girls tend to be more careful when starting relationships.
Yeees , I do agree !
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