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Is Porn Cheating?
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Post by
606231
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
ElhonnaDS
It was because I said something about how reserved we were all being. It's my fault. So, getting back to the topic...
Post by
Squishalot
The general view in my relationship is similar to Elhonna's. I don't really have all that much more to add that hasn't been said already.
Tolerance and understanding are more important than hard-and-fast rules (pun intended) about whether person P should be watching porn when person NP doesn't want them to.
Post by
pezz
I can at least theoretically imagine a situation where a couple agrees not to watch porn and that works for them, but I personally would dump someone the moment she made me choose between porn or her.
But maybe I'm biased. I watched porn with my last girlfriend, on sites she knew about and I learned from her.
Edit: I don't like how I explained my position, so I'm removing the old explanation.
If a woman tells me I can't watch porn while dating her early in the relationship, I have two problems: One is that I don't like having how I live parts of my life dictated to me by people I don't know terribly well. Two is that that's a red flag for other issues on which we may disagree.
If a woman tells me I can't watch porn while dating her later in the relationship, that has its own problem. Namely, if you wait until I've invested more time in the relationship to drop a potential deal breaker like that, it's a bait and switch. I don't suffer such manipulative behavior in anyone I associate with, let alone romantic partners.
Of course I'm willing to make sacrifices for people I love. As an example, say that a few months after I marry a women, she falls very seriously ill. She'll live, and make a recovery, but we can't have sex for six months, and she expects me to remain sexually exclusive to her. We got married assuming we'd have a sex life, she honestly meant to have that sex life, but circumstances beyond her control have temporarily prevented it. This requires me to make a sacrifice for her, which I'll definitely make. Contrast that with a woman who makes a calculated decision to only tell me something she knows I don't want to hear when I'm less likely to end the relationship over it. That's mere manipulation.
Post by
134377
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Jubilee
put that rabbit away!
I...have nothing to say.
Post by
134377
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
LeionX
This thread is classic. As someone who is an outsider reading this, this convosation is hilarious.
As for the topic at 'hand'. It basicly just comes down to what people like in their relationship. I guess you could say that sex is like food. There are many different types of taste and flavors. And sometimes you and your partner just can't decide on where to 'eat out'.
Post by
Monday
EDIT: And I just accidentally hit the "Add to Favorites" button and had to figure out how to unpin a tab that said "Is Porn Cheating" from my work computer.
Made me laugh.
Post by
Squishalot
put that rabbit away!
I...have nothing to say.
What's wrong with that?
Edit: In context, I mean. "No vibrators" isn't really that different from "No porn".(##RESPBREAK##)8##DELIM##Squishalot##DELIM##
Post by
134377
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Post by
gnomerdon
That's where discipline comes into play. This determines if we're animals or not.
Post by
134377
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
gnomerdon
I refuse to choose to be a animal.... Or else I'll pull out my van :(
Post by
MrSCH
put that rabbit away!
I...have nothing to say.
What's wrong with that?
Edit: In context, I mean. "No vibrators" isn't really that different from "No porn".
Of course it is, in some eyes. It's the fact that you have to/want to watch other people have sex which is the problem with watching porn, not the act of masturbation itself.
Contrast that with a woman who makes a calculated decision to only tell me something she knows I don't want to hear when I'm less likely to end the relationship over it. That's mere manipulation.
You really think that she did that rather than mention it earlier, as opposed to the fact that a few months into a relationship she wouldn't even be thinking about you watching porn?
The watching porn scenario is only really (usually) going to come up when you're living together. If it's mentioned then it's not because she's a manipulative %^&*! who has led you to this stage so you don't break up with her, but because it simply hasn't been anything close to an issue up until now.
Post by
91278
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Thror
Heh,
Pezz
. I wish I have read your post about a year earlier.
My opinion on this matter is the same as xara's here:
Sexual drive can be different between two people who are otherwise romantically compatible. There may be times when one person in the relationship is in the mood, but the other just is not; does the person who's currently aroused just damp it down? What if it happens frequently? It doesn't mean that your relationship isn't working, it just means that one of you is "in the mood" more frequently than the other.
I don't see any problem with masturbation while in a relationship, and masturbating with visual aids - pornography - is just a normal extension of the act.
Now, if one person takes to masturbating and "porning out" almost exclusively, and ignores their partner,
then
there's a problem.
Post by
91278
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
pezz
Contrast that with a woman who makes a calculated decision to only tell me something she knows I don't want to hear when I'm less likely to end the relationship over it. That's mere manipulation.
You really think that she did that rather than mention it earlier, as opposed to the fact that a few months into a relationship she wouldn't even be thinking about you watching porn?
The watching porn scenario is only really (usually) going to come up when you're living together. If it's mentioned then it's not because she's a manipulative %^&*! who has led you to this stage so you don't break up with her, but because it simply hasn't been anything close to an issue up until now.
If you're planning on living together, you really need to get all of the potential problems on the table
before
you take that step. I really think that most people would realize that a problem with porn falls into that category. It's no different from waiting a year and a half until you've moved in together to say 'oh hey I have <name of crazy fetish>' or 'oh hey I have a touch of the bi once in a while.'
Thror, what do you mean?
Post by
551048
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
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