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Homosexuality General Discussion
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Post by
Jubilee
What about it makes it an expression of love? That is the part I simply do not understand. Giving your whole self to the other is an expression of love. To vow to care for and protect and love the other person for as long as you live. You might not believe that's possible, but we do, so we're going to continue getting married.
Post by
Atik
What about it makes it an expression of love? That is the part I simply do not understand. Giving your whole self to the other is an expression of love. To vow to care for and protect and love the other person for as long as you live. You might not believe that's possible, but we do, so we're going to continue getting married.
Why do you need marriage to do that?
Marriage is just saying you will do that. Isn't it more loving to just DO THAT by being with the person without marriage, without even asking them to do the same?
Post by
Jubilee
Marriage is just saying you will do that.
I shouldn't tell my significant other that I love her, because once I tell her I'm bound to it and it's not free and then it's not love? You're not making a very strong case. The very act of proposing to someone is a free act of self-giving. The very act of accepting that is a free act. Marriage is a free choice.
You could replace "marriage" in all your arguments with "kissing". Can't you still love someone without kissing them? Then therefore should we stop kissing?
Post by
Atik
No, because there is nothing binding about kissing someone.
Marriage also asks your other to do the same and giv themselves to you as well.
Isn't it more trusting and loving to not ask for such treatment in return?
I mean, if a girl was so perfect I was willing to devout my entire self to her, I could hardly imagine asking ANYTHING of her, let alone to do the same as me.
Post by
Jubilee
No, because there is nothing binding about kissing someone.
Marriage also asks your other to do the same and giv themselves to you as well.
Isn't it more trusting and loving to not ask for such treatment in return?
I mean, if a girl was so perfect I was willing to devout my entire self to her, I could hardly imagine asking ANYTHING of her, let alone to do the same as me.
You're talking like the other person is forced into the marriage. This giving of oneself completely in love is mutual. Both people are doing it. My significant other would write her own vows, and I would accept them and accept her as completely as she wants to give herself to me.
Post by
Atik
No, because there is nothing binding about kissing someone.
Marriage also asks your other to do the same and giv themselves to you as well.
Isn't it more trusting and loving to not ask for such treatment in return?
I mean, if a girl was so perfect I was willing to devout my entire self to her, I could hardly imagine asking ANYTHING of her, let alone to do the same as me.
You're talking like the other person is forced into the marriage. This giving of oneself completely in love is mutual. Both people are doing it. My significant other would write her own vows, and I would accept them and accept her as completely as she wants to give herself to me.
But by asking them to get married, you are asking them to write those vows.
Why are you asking at all?
Post by
Jubilee
But by asking them to get married, you are asking them to write those vows.
Why are you asking at all?
Because it would be wrong to promise yourself to someone who doesn't want you to promise yourself to them. You are telling the person that you are ready to take the next step and show your love in this meaningful way. They are free to say no, I don't want this type of relationship, or they are free to say yes, I will accept your tokens of your love for me and I will return them in kind.
Post by
Atik
But by asking them to get married, you are asking them to write those vows.
Why are you asking at all?
Because it would be wrong to promise yourself to someone who doesn't want you to promise yourself to them.
But doesn't that just show how much you love them? The fact you are willing to fight for them and never ask a thing in return?
Post by
Jubilee
But doesn't that just show how much you love them? The fact you are willing to fight for them and never ask a thing in return?
That's close to the exact thing I'd say in my wedding vows if/when I get married.
Post by
Atik
But in having a wedding, you ARE asking for something in return. You are asking for them to 'love' you back.
Post by
Jubilee
But in having a wedding, you ARE asking for something in return. You are asking for them to 'love' you back.
No, they are choosing to do it. Are you incapable of understanding the idea that two people could want to give themselves to each other?
Post by
Atik
But in having a wedding, you ARE asking for something in return. You are asking for them to 'love' you back.
No, they are choosing to do it. Are you incapable of understanding the idea that two people could want to give themselves to each other?
I understand they can want to give themselves to eachother, but I don't think either side should ask for it.
Love should just be that; love. No questions, just love.
"Will you marry me?"
"Do you love me?"
"Do you promise to...?"
Those are all questions. Love should have no questions. Just love.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Atik
Why does it matter so much to you what love is to other people? Everyone isn't going to think love is the same thing as you do.
Because I'm a guy whose only goal in life is a 'happily ever after' style.
You know, find that perfect girl, love her forever, and live happily.
But any girl willing to do that will want marriage.
So I need to change something.
Post by
Jubilee
If I'm going to move in with my significant other I need to ask first. If I'm going to have kids with her I need to ask first. If I am going to tie myself to her for the rest of my and probably her life, I need to ask first. A proposal is not about asking if the other person loves you. If you're at the proposal stage you already know how much they love you, and whatever that love is you love them enough to make the vows you want to make.
Why does it matter so much to you what love is to other people? Everyone isn't going to think love is the same thing as you do.
Because I'm a guy whose only goal in life is a 'happily ever after' style.
You know, find that perfect girl, love her forever, and live happily.
But any girl willing to do that will want marriage.
So I need to change something.
How about changing yourself?
Post by
Atik
If I'm going to move in with my significant other I need to ask first. If I'm going to have kids with her I need to ask first. If I am going to tie myself to her for the rest of my and probably her life, I need to ask first. A proposal is not about asking if the other person loves you. If you're at the proposal stage you already know how much they love you, and whatever that love is you love them enough to make the vows you want to make.
If you need to ask, then that isn't true love.
In true love, that should all just happen. There should be no questions, it should just be something that comes about so naturally you hardly notice it.
Because it is love.
And I refuse to sell out on my beliefs.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Atik
Or you live in a fairytale.
They have a tendancy to end in marriage. Which is the whole thing I'm trying to get rid of...
Post by
Jubilee
If I'm going to move in with my significant other I need to ask first. If I'm going to have kids with her I need to ask first. If I am going to tie myself to her for the rest of my and probably her life, I need to ask first. A proposal is not about asking if the other person loves you. If you're at the proposal stage you already know how much they love you, and whatever that love is you love them enough to make the vows you want to make.
If you need to ask, then that isn't true love.
In true love, that should all just happen. There should be no questions, it should just be something that comes about so naturally you hardly notice it.
Because it is love.
And I refuse to sell out on my beliefs.
You force yourself on women you love?
Post by
Atik
No, there is no forcing. It just happens because there isn't a need for questions.
I am talking about the type of love where you and your other are so close you can just feel eachother. Things like when people can finish eachother's sentances and stuff.
THAT is love.
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