The Born of a Death Knight. pt2

Publicado por 570533

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Publicado por Orranis

If their going to be this short, keep them in one thread please.

Now I'm usually fine with people having bad English skills, but when story-writing, their essential. otherwise, the description, dialogue and inner-thinking just fall apart, leaving you with only the plot.

Publicado por 570533

This post was from a user who has deleted their account.

Publicado por 576272

This post was from a user who has deleted their account.

Publicado por 570533

This post was from a user who has deleted their account.

Publicado por Morec0

Also, you shouldn't post differnt parts in the same day. Set up schedual (once every friday, once every monday and friday, or even once a day) to post a page and you'll not only give yourself more time to work on the story, you'll also set up a routine so that those that read your story will know when to look for it.

Publicado por 570533

This post was from a user who has deleted their account.

Publicado por Morec0

If you have a schedule in mind already go ahead and post it. Also, if there is going to be a delay or you decide to change the posting routine, then you should inform the readers about that in the latest part.

Publicado por barthem

here try to write a little like this

'
" So,wouldn't you tell me the story now?" the soldier asked.

"Yes... it all started with my hunger for power..." the death knight said, " i wanted to be strong for other people that admire me, but soon i lost controll of it"

"I was proposed to be a sergeant in the Royal Army of Stormwind." the death knight continued afther a moment of silence

"You couldn't imagine my happines, all the years i had spent on training, and i was finally gonna get be rewarded for it"
"But another soldier took that rank..." the deathknight answered with a bitter tone.

'But why?" asked a shocked soldier of the group, "why weren't you proposed for that rank?"

"Sshhhh..You will see.."

"now where was i? Ahhh yes. When I asked the fieldmarshal why i didn't earned that rank he replayed with words i would never forget"

"Marcus,you are an extremely strong soldier, but all that matters right now is that you slay our enemy's." said the deathknight on a sarcastic tone.
"Deus, on the other hand, knowns more about tactics and how to use in the middle of a battle, that's why I promoted him Instead of you."

"But the most ironical thing was of this all: deus was my brother."
"we trained together from our childhood, I haven't felt so angry in my entire life...betrayed by my very own brother..."

"this all seems a lie to me, Death Knight." the soldier replied
and he hitted his fist on the table.

"Sergeant Deus can't be your brother, he has fought bravely against the Scourge invasions many times" said the right now angry soldier.

"How could that be?, as i said before i think your lying."
"Plus,he haven't mention you before..." a other soldier said.

"So,you think im lying, soldier?"
"Let me finish my story and the you can decide if Im lying or not...."

first of all, im not a uber writer myself, but this is just my opion to make this story a little more... a story..
probably can morec of patty do it much better, but this is just a example of how you can make it look like.

just try to use less ........ ,it loses its dramatic effect when used to much

but appart from this all i would love to read more!

The Born of a Death Knight. pt2

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