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Favorite Comedian Quotes
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Post by
Artinz
"I swear on my unborn child's life, that I didn't eat your #$%^ing ice cream!"
"
Dane
: Dad, you've had 427 beers, I think you should stop!
Dad
: Hey, don't tell me how many beers I'm having, I'm a little bit older, I've been around the block.
Dane
: Yeah, that's because you're too %^&*ing drunk to find the house!"
Both of those are from Dane Cook.
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Post by
Lusky
"Saved by the buoyancy of citrus!"
-Mitch Hedberg
( R.I.P.)
Post by
Wrassinn
"This is your brain." I've seen a lot of weird *stuff* on drugs. I have never ever ever ever EVER looked at a *freaking* egg and thought it was a brain.
-Bill Hicks
(*word* indicates an edit for "bad words")
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