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The Rising of the Assassin (Short Story)
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And there he stood, looking at a room filled with half a thousand sarcophagi, from his ancestors, his friends, family. He should have been born in an earlier time, not now, as the Scourge and the Burning Legion annihilated everything alive they saw in Lordaeron. He had been the promise of his generation, becoming Mentor of the Order at seventeen years-the youngest one in centuries to reach such a status.
When the Scourge appeared, they fought back with all their skills, but the Scourge was not comprised of human beings. They didn’t fear, nor needed to rest. When they saw what happened to the ones that were slain, they made sure to hide all the ones that fell or had fallen in the chamber in which he stood right now. Aetius Necitore was the last one still alive.
The Stratholme entrance had been properly sealed, but the hidden entrance could be found, and the Scourge would obtain a massive number of some of the best human assassins ever born. Aetius would not let that happen, and he had taken a decision. As the assassin closed the door, sealing the chamber, he pressed a button in the wall, and stoically stood as everything went aflame and the chamber imploded, all the corpses destroyed.
An abomination was carelessly walking around in Eastern Lordaeron, its belly filled to the brim with the plague of undeath. Suddenly, the field was set on fire, and the earth started cracking and being pulled to the deeps. The abomination was destroyed, with the exception of the belly, from which the slime started oozing, penetrating the earth below it.
And Archimonde fell in Hyjal for the wisps’ might,
A ranger forced a dark prince to escape his land,
To Outland escaped the one that had lost his sight,
And the human noble in Northrend took command.
And, in the midst of the Eastern Plaguelands, an undead hand broke out of the earth, and he surged from the ground. He saw his surroundings. Aetius could not believe the new state of Eastern Lordaeron. He then checked himself, and shouted in agony as he noticed he was now an undead. But, he was free. Aetius then saw a patrol of ghouls and abominations walking around.
The rogue then sneaked around, crossing the Thondroril River in almost perfect stealth. After a week from his “wakening”, the rogue arrived to Andorhal, and saw the demolished state of the town. He kept on, but as he was then spotted by a patrol of two human paladins, dressed in red and white.
Aetius approached them, saying: “Help me, I have found myself in this state, but I have free will!” The paladins, doubtless, drew their war hammers, and shouted: “Undead mongrel of the Scourge, we shall purge you from this land!”
The rogue reacted in time and leaped back. He drew his daggers, and he dashed his way into the backside of the paladins, cutting both their necks with his daggers in the blink of an eye. He then used his knife and a rock to create a spark, and burned the bodies.
After another day of travel, he reached the pass between Lordaeron and the Glades of Tirisfal. A paladin with a silver star embroidered in a black tabard raised his hand, saying: “Undead, do you serve the Lich King or are you a Forsaken?”
Aetius answered: “Forsaken? I just erm… awoke in the Eastern part of Lordaeron a week ago. What is going on? When I died I was in an underground cellar south of Stratholme, and the forces of the undead were ravaging the place.”
The knight then said: “Well, you have been dead for a long time, rogue. Arthas was forced to flee Lordaeron towards Northrend. A faction of free willed undead, now known as the Forsaken, led by Sylvannas Windrunner, now known as the Banshee Queen, have joined the Horde. We are the Argent Dawn, a neutral faction of all races, dedicated to fight the Scourge in this place.”
Aetius then asked: “On my way here, I was attacked by a pair of paladins in red and white, who are they?”
“The Scarlet Crusade, a faction of crazed paladins that fight the Scourge, but do not differentiate the Forsaken from them. In addition, they do not trust the Horde at all, unlike us.” As the knight explained, a purple-skinned elf and a bull-looking being passed around, patrolling: “These are races natural to Kalimdor, a continent in the west. The night elves are a druidic race that is now a member of the Alliance, and the tauren, a former nomad race, have joined the Horde, currently lead by Warchief Thrall. King Varian Wrynn of the Alliance has been missing, and the Alliance is being ruled by Regent Lord Bolvar Fordragon. Now, should we do with you?”
Aetius then said: “In life, I was a mercenary, and in death, I wish to do so. I am Aetius Necitore, master assassin. I’d like to join forces with you and fight the Scourge for now.”
The knight then decided: “A massive necropolis by the name of Naxxramas has appeared in the coast of the Eastern Plaguelands. A caravan will soon take you and some adventurers there.”
Aetius nodded, saying: “Good.” The rogue then began to think: “It’s time to rebuild the Order, I shall recruit likely people, and the first thing to do: recover my hideout. Now that I shall not die to the pass of time, the possibilities are infinite.”
I really liked the beginning of this where he torched the tomb, but maybe it could have helped if he had done something a bit more basic then just press a button such as soak things with oil and toss a torch at them. Something that implies more the emergency of the measures being taken. The poem was a ice touch and presented the passing of time well.
Regarding criticism, I suggest working a bit on your dialogue and how it is presented. Try to describe what they do as they answered or tones said in, something to convey the emotions or lack of when responding. It's an invaluable tool and gives the characters more personality when speaking.
Sorry it took so long to review this.
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