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HYPERtheticals - Questions for Insane Conversations (27 of 50)
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Post by
Sas148
Premise
Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as "idiots."
These are the kind of humans who can talk to a stranger for 40 minutes without learning
anything
essential about who that stranger is -- they talk about the weather and about other people, and they mention what kind of car they drive and how old their children are. They have conversations in public that are ultimately no different than silence in an empty room.
I refuse to be that kind of person.
I refuse to make small talk. I refuse. I don't care what the situation is or what the protocol is supposed to be: I see no value in asking someone a friendly, non-adversarial question if neither party cares what the answer is. Instead, I prefer to ask questions where the solution is irrelevant -- I pose hypothetical questions where
how
one answers the query matters far more than the literal conclusion. There is no "right" answer to these kinds of questions. The end never matters; what matters is how you get to the end. What matters is
how
you think, not
what
you think.
If these questions seem absurd or boorish or juvenile -- that's totally fine. Don't read them and don't answer them. We don't need to be friends. We are not the same. But if you want to find out who other people really are, these are the conversations you need to have. And you need to have them now.
Prepare to become more interesting...
The above text and following questions were written by Chuck Klosterman -- All rights reserved.
It is assumed some of these questions may provoke some less than politically-correct responses, and that is intended by the very nature of some of the questions. I'd like to hope that we can all be adult and handle this content respectfully. That does not mean this is a "free-for-all" thread or anything of that nature, you still need to follow the basic rules of the Wowhead forums, but understand that this thread may be more questionable than many of the others around here. If you're fairly certain anyone will be offended by the content, take the precaution of placing it in a 'Spoiler' tag. Thank you.
Reader Beware!
Shock the people, nicely.
You are given the opportunity to create and direct a feature film. The studio offers you a huge budget, provides you with a top-notch writing and technical staff, and allows you to cast whomever you desire in the lead roles. There are essentially no limitations on what this movie can be--except for two. The movie you make has to fulfill the following two criteria:
It has to be extremely edgy and transgressive. You need to confront taboo social issues. You need to shock people. Ideally, the film will address ideas that have never been tackled by mainstream filmmakers. In fact, if this movie is not the most controversial film of the year, the studio will probably not release it. However:
It has to get a PG rating. It cannot be R or even PG-13. There may be limited profanity, minor depictions of violence, and fleeting nudity, but nothing that would prompt the ratings board to go beyond the PG classification.
What is the premise and plot of your hypothetical movie?
1.
Shock the people, nicely.
2.
Prison Culture
3.
Vampire Weekend
4.
Artistic Telekinesis
5.
The Industry Standard
6.
The Dream VCR
7.
A Life in Film
8.
Shaquille in the Shower
9.
Rudimentary Magician
10.
Forever 75
11.
Canadian Football Future
12.
Synesthesia
13.
Collarbone 'n Chains
14.
The Unknown Companion
15.
Worldwide Perfection
16.
Lost Virginity Redux
17.
The Nude Acquaintance
18.
The Moon Fight
19.
The Countdown
20.
The Price of Sex Appeal
21.
Body vs Mind
22.
Euphoria Forever
23.
The Cannibal's Quandary
24.
The Free-Wheeling Architect
25.
The Mind Killer
26.
Super Gorilla
27.
The Tumor
(##RESPBREAK##)2060##DELIM##Sas148##DELIM##
Post by
Adamsm
It would be fairly easy to get around the PG setting; just have the majority of things happening just off screen while the view point character gives us a reaction of just what is going on....or go with an animated feature, a la Fritz the Cat, just on the PG side.
But the premise and plot I could think of would be an actual documentary on the life of a transgendered teenager(male to female or female to male) and just how it really affects their life and the lives of everyone around them. But obviously don't make it about what s/he is and more about them. Let the world see how it feels to be in a body that is betraying you and a mind that refuses to conform to the so called norm.
Post by
557473
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
lonewolfe31705
Notice! This is not for the weak of heart as it approaches a very tender subject for most people.
Plot:
The movie follows a child that has been kidnapped and sold into the sex slave business. From the moment of kidnap, through the training, to the actual selling, until the child ends up dying from overdosing, murdered, suicide, whatever. You would beat the PG rating by having the worst of the scenes offscreen as Adamsm said.
The thing is, this happens everyday and no one seems to take notice. I think if you bring it to the attention of the movie goer, it could possibly make a change in the world.
Note: I got the idea from a short video I saw a while back. You can actually watch it on
Vimeo
.
Post by
asakawa
Check out a documentary called
This film is not yet rated
for something like an exposé on the US film ratings board. Based on the info in that film I'd say all the suggestions so far would receive an R rating.
A controversial film with a PG rating? How about a documentary that paints the Westboro Church as, not just sane but moral and insightful? Well, we're presented with "the opportunity to create and direct a feature film" but with the caveats also presented I would turn down that opportunity.
I'd also say that Tarantino recently managed to make an excellent and very controversial film recently, really opening up a topic that hasn't been addressed in that way, but failed on the PG-13 bit ^_^
Good thread Sas!!(##RESPBREAK##)16##DELIM##asakawa##DELIM##
Post by
134377
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
gamerunknown
My original idea would be to give 90% of the budget to Oxfam and then berate the viewer for being selfish for valuing entertainment above survival. However, the basic principle has already been done by Bono.
Maybe showing an adult in a loving, committed relationship with an animal. No sex of course.
Post by
Sas148
Prison Culture
A totally innocent man is sent to prison for 25 years, all for a crime he did not commit (the DNA evidence that indisputably proves his innocence does not emerge until he has completed his full sentence). During those 25 years in prison, he kills three other inmates, sells drugs, is tangentially involved with the rape of another prisoner, mercilessly abuses a K-9 police dog, and steals food from other inmates on a regular basis. However, he was never caught doing any of these illegal acts. Upon his release from prison, he openly admits to doing all of these things -- in fact, he brags about these activities to the media. "Prison is a different culture," he explains. "I did what I had to do to survive."
You are head of the penal system. You have just learned of this man's wrongful imprisonment and about all of the terrible things he did while in jail. Do you release him back into society, or do you attempt to charge him with the new crimes he claims to have committed during his prison stay? If you do attempt to charge him, how do you go about proving (with evidence) his involvement?
Post by
lonewolfe31705
Do you release him back into society, or do you attempt to charge him with the new crimes he claims to have committed during his prison stay?
The man did time for a crime he didn't commit. Depending on why he killed the 3 other inmates...meh...who cares. As for the other charges, he did do what he had to survive. I know several people who went to prison and it is eat or be eaten.
If you do attempt to charge him, how do you go about proving (with evidence) his involvement?
He already did 25 years. Lets call it square and forget about the things he would never have done if he wasnt placed in that situation.
Post by
Sagramor
I've read Klosterman's
Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs
, where he outlines these questions, and the ultimate truth is his introductory text (the one you posted on the first post) is essentially wrong. Small-talk is a good part of human interaction, not because of what is said verbally, but because of what isn't. Most of human communication occurs in non-verbal ways, you can get a pretty good feeling of how someone is without asking them deep questions about themselves. The truth of the matter is Klosterman is an anti-social nerd who only gets laid because of Woody Allen (he says so in the book), and
he's
the idiot: he doesn't know how to make small-talk.
Not that I do, though.
Post by
gamerunknown
In the US, I'd imagine such a trial would be difficult if the accused were investigated for the previous crimes and not indicted. In England, there's no fifth amendment to deal with, though the ECHR considers the privilege against self-incrimination as more or less a peremptory norm. At least a perfunctory investigation would be warranted.
Post by
Magician22773
Do you release him back into society, or do you attempt to charge him with the new crimes he claims to have committed during his prison stay?
Assuming you have the evidence necessary for a conviction, you have to. Justice is blind. The determination of his guilt, and sentence, would be up to a judge and jury, just like any other case.
Now, assuming he was convicted, a jury would likely consider the 25 years he already spent as "time served". They would also have to look at the specifics of each offence you mentioned.
Killing 3 inmates. Were these killings in self-defense, or were they cold-blooded?
Rape of another prisoner. Not really any "justification" for a rape, but a jury could look at what 25 years behind bars will do to a persons mental condition, and could find leniency based on that.
The rest of what you described is really just part of prison culture....drugs, disdain for guards (including their animals, and stealing food....that is just part of what you get when you live in cage.
So, just HPYERthetically speaking...I am on the jury. The evidence presented is sound enough to prove these crimes. The killings happened as a result of racial gang violence in prison. The rape occurred 18 years into the sentence.
Given the evidence, the situation, and most noticeably, the lack of remorse in his statements after release, I would vote for a conviction of 3 counts of 2nd degree murder, and 1 count sexual assault. All other charges would be inconsequential. I would look for a sentence of 25 years on each murder count, and 15 years on the sexual assault. I would look for all sentence's to run concurrent, and would give credit for the 25 years time served. With the 85% rule, this would return the man back to prison for about 10 more years. Any further offences during that time, and I would move for maximum penalties on any new charges.
Post by
Sas148
Vampire Weekend
It's the evening before your wedding. Everything is going as planned; you are spending the afternoon with a few old friends, chatting casually about old times. Suddenly, your spouse-to-be bursts into the room, totally hysterical. Your spouse-to-be insists that s/he has just seen a vampire. When you ask what this means, s/he says: "I was looking out of the window of my hotel room, and I could see into the apartment building across the street. That's when I saw the vampire. I saw a man in a black cape bite a woman's neck and drink her blood. I know this must sound crazy, but I am that certain what I saw is real." Your prospective (and sober) spouse is in a state of panic and pleads with you to believe his/her story. You can tell that this is really, really important to him/her.
Knowing the fragility of the situation and the intensity of the timing, do you tell your potential spouse that you do, in fact, completely believe that s/he saw a vampire across the street? All of your old friends are watching this conversation.
Post by
Magician22773
The worst part about this one is, now you have to explain "weird sexual fetish's" to your bride-to-be in front of all your friends.
Post by
gamerunknown
Get her a bottle of holy water and a crucifix to soothe her nerves, investigate the area she claimed to see the vampire, cancel the honeymoon and book her for sectioning.
Post by
557473
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Sas148
Artistic Telekinesis
Let us assume that you have the ability to telekinetically change culture while you actively experience it. Your mind can now dictate what you see and hear. For example, if you were listening to Pearl Jam's
Yield
and you wanted the music to be heavier, it would immediately sound as though Mike McCready's guitar had been tuned differently in the studio. If you were watching
The Office
on NBC and decided that Jim should marry Pam (or Karen, or both), you could make it happen -- all you would need to do is think about that specific desire. You could stare at an oil painting and unconsciously change the color contrasts. If a PG-13 romantic comedy grew dull, you could force it to evolve into an eroticized NC-17 thriller. You could (essentially) write books as you read them, eliminating certain characters and redirecting plot points as they occurred in the text. However, such changes would only apply to your experience; you could kill off Han Solo at the end of
Return of the Jedi
, but that would not change the movie for anyone else. All other people would possess the same personal psychic powers as you.
Would you want this ability? And -- if this became reality -- would art retain any meaning whatsoever?
Post by
Nathanyal
I wouldn't mind having it. I could watch shows the way people wanted, then go back and see what would be different if something were to change.
But if everyone were to have it, then it would cause a problem for those creating things. If people could change something just by thinking it, then why bother doing it the way you wanted?
Post by
Squishalot
However, such changes would only apply to your experience; you could kill off Han Solo at the end of Return of the Jedi, but that would not change the movie for anyone else
Isn't that just another term for 'imagination'? It's actually a bit sad that this would be a 'what if' scenario in today's spoon-fed world.
Post by
ElhonnaDS
I agree with squish- I imagine different takes on movies and stories all the time- especially when I don't think an ending or an event did justice to the story, or the characters. The ending of Mass Effect was one recent one, and enough people imagined a better ending that the studio had to make one- lol.
I remember thinking the end of "The Mist" was so bad in the movie, and was nothing like the book, that I kind of blocked it out. I tune out AI after it fades to black underwater. I do it a lot already- to see it in front of me wouldn't be all that different if I couldn't show it to other people. But sure, I wouldn't mind having the ability.
It would certainly be an interesting ability to give the fan-fic community. Some people might never leave home :P
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