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Gum's One Shots
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Alright, here goes.
I've been working on different one shots told from my various character's perspectives.. kind of like a monologue. Despite the fact that I really enjoy writing, I'm very shy about it, so I'm kinda going out on a limb here by posting these. The two I'm going to post first have been written for a few months now. Most of them will be 1500 words and under, just a few short read.
Please read, give me C&C, all that stuff. I hope you enjoy.
Keep in mind some will be M rating, but anything super graphic I will just link to.
mother of three, widowed twice
I miss him, I miss him so, so much.
Every day I pray to da Loa dat he will visit me in a vision or a dream, just so I can touch his cheek and tell him dat I love him one more time. It’s been two years today dat my beloved Garos was ripped from my arms far too early because of Deathwing. We said goodbye - he knew dat he was going to be taken… but dat didn’t make it easier. I thought dat it would, thought dat it would give me some sort of closure dat I needed to accept dat he was gone so I could move on.
My last mate, Yo’ou, got taken from me during an earthquake around seven years ago. He died protecting me and our little boy, Yo’kuno. I was devastated, broken and alone. I spent da next two years wandering, doing odd jobs for supplies and living away from civilization with Kuno. I didn’t let myself get close to anyone else.
Then one night there was a storm, and an attack of some sort I think… it’s so foggy now, da mind does crazy things in moments of panic. But da cave I was staying in, it was collapsing. I had Kuno on my hip, struggling to get out in time, and den dere was a spirit there, holding da cave up, keeping us safe so we could get out.
It was Garos. I didn’t get to meet him until months later.
He showed up one day, dis half-orc, bent on destruction. He was out of control, a dark agent. He destroyed Everlook, put all of our lives in danger, put my son in danger. He made me so mad when I first met him. But dere was something about him dat I couldn’t pull away from. I don’t know what it was. He made me feel… safe, somehow. As if dat was even possible. We were almost never safe, da group dat we travelled with.
I couldn’t deal with all dese feelings, all da emotions dat I was filled with. I was betraying my Yo’ou, destroying his memory and his sacrifice, it would all be for nothing if I followed through. But den he visited me once during my morning meditation, and as I ran my fingers through his fiery hair, clung to him like da lost child dat I was, he wiped away my tears and told me to let go.
And I did. I let go of my fear and loss and guilt, and I embraced da love and comfort dat I had found in Garos. He was whole again, pure and uncorrupt, and we were happy. I will always remember Yo’ou, for his love, his friendship and how he released me of all da negative feelings dat I held in me back den.
He has visited me once, since den. Last year. He asked of Kuno. I had to tell him dat our would-be nine year old was now twenty, just six years difference between him and I. Dat he had his childhood stolen from him, taken by a #$%^& of an elf with no purpose other den to hurt. It broke his heart. I told him about Teniki and Zala, how dey are growing into strong women. His spirits lifted when he heard dat, but I knew he grieved for Kuno.
I am still waiting for my visit from Garos, but I do not hold my breath. Da Loa and da spirits work in mysterious ways. I hope dat wherever he is, he is able to watch his beautiful children grow up.
Kuno is handsome and strong, but he worries me. His depression and anger flows fast and deep, sweeping up his happiness and peace. His arm has still not grown back, and da flashbacks have been happening more and more lately. He attacked Zi’kumi a few weeks ago, swung at her jaw thinking dat she was something else, and I know dat some of da other villagers talk. Dey say he is wild, sick with War-Fever dat will only get worse. But I know my son, I know dat he will beat whatever dis is.
He’s started to breed raptors, you know. Five of dem he has so far. I think dat it helps him.
Zala has been going out on her own more and more. I think dat she is mad at me, even though she has never said anything to me about it. Mad dat I couldn’t save her parents during dat attack, mad dat Garos went off to fight and den never came home. She is young, almost eight, and she is trying to figure everything out. I try to be strong for her, teach her dat everything happens for a reason, but she does not understand, not yet anyways. She will.
Da one person who she completely is attached to is Teniki, and I am so glad for dat. Teniki is almost two now, growing so fast just like a weed, and Zala can spend hours in da yard chatting away to her little sister. I want dem to be close. Teniki is looking less troll-like every day, but I am not sad about dat. Garos’s blood runs in her veins, and I think dat she will look every inch orc and human. But she has my hair.
I feel lost sometimes. It’s hard being a single mother, even if I have da entire village to back me up. I struggle tryin’ to find enough time to tend to myself after tending to my children an’ my tribe. I’m a trinket maker now, mostly totems an’ beads. I find da wood and pigments near da village because I cannot leave da baby alone. Da things dat I make I usually trade to other villagers or travellers for other goods – food, clothing, pelts, books, dat sort of thing. It’s a decent living dat I make for myself, enough dat my children get all dat dey need, but da work leaves me hardly any time for myself.
Dat is okay though. I’m not selfish.
Da only thing I wish dat I had here with me dat I do not, is my mate.
living the life, one step at a time
((authors note - this one will be veeerrrryy hard to read at points. this is on purpose.))
Mah mos fave tinga do ees feesh.
From mah porch, feets hannover da edge an’ mah toes go inda wadder. Sametime da feesh bite attem, but mosa time dey dun, jus’ swim aroundat da bottom, sametime bidat bugs an’suff adda topa da wadda.
I like feeshin’ from da porch. Godda leetle roof, an’ mah door is ri’ dere. Can come an’ go if ah please, go insidan gedda snack, smoke, maybe a haddif eet sunny out. Mosly smoke or snack dough. Ah like mah har, dun wan cova eetup.
Ah feesh all da time, in da rain or sun. Sorms, ah dun care. Achully really like da sorms. Da sky lights get really preddy, watchin’ dem on da porch unda mah medal roof. Ping ping ping ping ping chhhhhewww! Ping ping ping ping ping chhhhewww! Yudo dunna like da sorms vey much, neidder does Ting, Ting yells when dere sorms sometime. She scared.
Caang likes sorms. He lay ousside wif me an’ feesh in da sorms. Relaxes an’ sleeps on mah feets. All of dem like sun, dey all feesh wif me in da sun, sretch out besi’ me. Dey scare da feesh sametimes, Caang jump in da wadder or maybe Ting yell. I neva ged mad, cause I love dem an’ dere always mo’ feesh. Sometime Ting sings whenah feesh, preddy sohns, tweerrdle tweedle twee, or sametime she say tins, she togs, preddy bir’, feeshy feeshy. Yudo sleep on mah lap, sniff adda feesh bucket. Caang sleeps on mah feets. Dey all kep me compny when ah feesh.
Wan time, Caang was swimmin’ affer a stick dat ah trow in da waters fo’ eem. He likes tah sweem samtimes. Ah tought dat maybe Yudo wan go fo’ a sweem too, cause she sicks ‘er paw inda wadder at da feesh, so ah trew ‘er in da wadder too. She din like dat. Hadda cuddler in a blanked so dat she gad warm affer, ah feld bad. Yuda dinah come ousside an’ feesh wif meh fo’ a while affer dat.
Da feesh like shiny tins. Ah love shiny tins too. Ah fine shinies, sametime in da woods, or da wadder, or trade some odder tings for dem. Rog, glass, medal, armah, scales, bone, sametime preddy gem. I trade feesh, ‘erbs, egg, malk an’ udder suff for shinies. Ahave a lodda shinies. Ah decrate mah home wif dem, puddem onna walls, on mah porch, puddem in da water so ahcen see dem when ah feesh. Puddem on mah boat. Ah puddem on mah fence an’ on mah barn an’ in da garden. Ah love dem.
Ah tink dat ah’ve godda billion shinies. Da mos dat anyon ‘as, oudda Shadowprey, maybeven alla Desola. Nahbuddy is bedda den me at collectin’ shinies or feesh.
Ah feesh alla, buddai dun’ jus’ feesh. Gadda ged mo’ stuffs somhow. Ah’ve gad a veggable garden, anna ‘erb garden. Ah grow podados, carros, peas, punkins, tomados, spargus, onions, berries, an’ some udder suff too. Ah eider cook dem, or eat dem raw, or ah sell ‘em in da town. Carros da bes’. Ah also gad a cow, ‘er name ees Dar, she gives me malk, an’ den ah can make cheese if ah wanna, or budder to sell.
Ah dun’ tink dat she gess lonely in da barn, ‘cause Yudo goes an’ visits ‘er samtimes, an’ ah do too.
Ah also get eggs fram mah chickens, ah gad trea dem. Dey wog aroun’ ousside in da daytimes an’ den go in dere house ad nigh’ an’ poop oud eggs fo’ me tah fin’ in da mornin’s. Da eggs taste good wif bacons, bud a gadda ged da bacon in da village. Trade some feesh or egg or malk or veggables fo’ bacon. Or maybe spen’ sam gol’ on da bacon.
Ah dun really like gold much. Eet causes prollems, even jus’ da coppa stuff. Ah heard ‘bout wan boy, he took samefin’s werf niney coppa from a shop in da village, anna shop keepa beadim up anna boy died. All causa sam supid money. Ah love shiny tin’s, but ah dun love dos wans. Ah dun like hurdin’ anytin’, nod even plans o’ animals. Ah godda, samtimes, ‘cause ah eat. Bud ah always say mah tanks to da feesh an’ da plans an’ da rabbis dat ah ead or udda people ead.
Bud gold, eet jus’ makes people hurd. Dey ged greedy, hurtan kill fo’ da silva an’ goldat da udda one has. Dey takeet. Mine mine mine! Dey all say dat! Wan whad da udda one has. Nahbuddy happy wif whad dey got.
Ah mean, ah wand more. Ah like havin’ mo’ feesh, mo’ shinies, mo’ animal friens to kep me company. Tag an’ exchra pieca jerky when ah know dat ah dun needit, jus’ ‘cause ah wan some.
I wanna gedda snake.
Bud ahm happeh here. Gads mah boat, mah house dat ah build, mah shed an’ mah barn. Caang, Ting, Yudo, Dar. Da cheekins, mah garden. Shinies. Issa happy place. Preddy tins all ‘round me, all da time. Ah dun’ wanna make lossa gold an’ go live in da big city, wearin’ big armas an’ fancy suffs. Ah jus’ wanna live wid mah pes, feesh all day. Haf drins an’ invide Zane an’ K’ode ova to feesh an’ drink an’ haf a good time.
Dey bot’ live in da city, Zane an’ K’ode. Ah tin’ dey like comin’ ov’ere, to da quiet. K’ode likes da quiet ah know, he be quiet kinda guy. Dun like da commoshun of da big city. He’s like me. Bot’ ain’t gad no parens. Mine died when ah was liddle, gad sendoo a house wid lossa udda kids. K’ode’s wanna dos kids, bud his parens didn’ die, dey jus’ leffem dere. Didn’ wanim. We bruddas dat way.
Ah gad oudda dere as soon as ah could. Stole stuff tah live, foun’ mah way tah dis place. Affer a while ah build mah home ‘ere. K’ode stayed in da city fo’ longa, bud denee med Zane. Lives wif e m. Zane’s gad lossa gold, bud yah neva know eet. Zane’s mah brudda too. He loves comin’ an feeshin’.
We all bruddas, gad eachoddas backs. Fo’eva.
The first one came off a little awkward in terms of style, particularly when followed by the far more distinctly troll-like speech pattern in the second. I'd suggest either changing it to a complete troll style, or give it a more regular phonology.
I enjoyed the very personal subject, and found it interesting how they spoke of them. More like a memoir, as if they've had time to distance themselves emotionally from it somewhat, and describe it from the outside perspective experience and time brings 9the former more so).
The way they focused on many more innocuous things was nice. Describing their regular lives and what occurs therein, their likes and dislikes, and just the odd observations gave it a very casual feel to both pieces (the latter particularly so) and gave a very complete understanding tot he characters. Which personally I found rather interesting, considering the subject matter is often of tender points. But that's a bit of the charm, I found.
As for suggestions for bettering the pieces, the matter of the language I referred to earlier is the main one. But, aside from that, little unless you wished to make the stories a bit more engaging. In which case, perhaps get the characters more involved in their recollections with more emotionally charged words and sentence structure for the harsher memories. But, again, that's only if you want to change it from the casual tone it has now.
Thanks for reading Money!
The distinct styles in 'accent' are because they are told from my characters perspectives, so I am writing in their accents. Tza'tali's is a much slighter one especially in contrast to Ganjaru.. you can barely understand anything he says half the time, he slurs and has an incredibly strong accent. I understand the notion of switching it to a consistent style but then I wouldn't be writing in their 'voices'.
Thanks for the C&C. I'm planning on doing more soon and I'll definitely take your comments into account. I'm not really sure what directions these will be in as I rarely have a plan when I start - I just put myself in the characters head and talk haha. I do enjoy the more casual style, but I can see myself deviating from that in the future to get more umph and emotional moments from the characters.
I'm glad you enjoyed the 'memoir-esque' feel to them, as that's what I was going for on the money.
Edit: I agree with the first one being rather awkward. Tza is a character that I hold close to my heart, and everything with her and Garos is such an emotional story.. I struggled to find a happy medium to sound like she had come to terms with everything but still mourned his loss. I wanted it to have a hopeful sort of tone to it that was hard to accomplish, especially after such a long break from writing. Also, I started it, then stopped for a few months, then finished it haha, so that doesn't help.
Ganjaru on the other hand, was incredibly easy to write. He is such a simple character - not in that he is two dimensional (I hope) but in that it takes so little to make him happy. He is so positive and charming, I'm totally in love with him haha. Every time I RP him it makes me smile.
Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed. :)
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